Hikikomori
Spent my 20s being the family hero. Accumulated for my sister’s wedding (that didn’t happen because she absorbed more than me), bought the house (that my father should have bought), sent money home. Thought that’s what you do.
Hit 35 (will turn 39 now) alone in Australia and realised I just traded one form of obligation for another.
Drank through all of it. Smoked up through all of it. Told myself it was fine.
Career plateaued early. Not much luck with women. Not exactly a head turner.
Somewhere between the screen and the smoke and the glass I looked up and though, when did I become this person. Just work from home and drink and sleep.
Still figuring it out. But at least I can see it now.
Anyone else wake up one day and realise you’d been sleepwalking through your own life?