u/IndependentAlone4139

Im a teen. My brother’s a kid. (Technically half brother )I’ve always had intrusive thoughts. But this one stuck my mind. I thought a week ago he was a cute kid. Then it turned into something “oh my god this is wrong” then I started imagining explicit and disgusting things. I cannot escape this tought and it’s haunting me cause it comes up every time I pay or do anything with my little brother. It’s something im so disgusted by and whenever the thought comes into my head my body feels weird. I don’t want tie to age t my relationship with my brother but I started imagining what I’d be like and he’s just a kid. I just want things back to the way they were.I have had issues getting past intrusive thoughts before but this has been going on for a week. I feel disgusting and I cannot stand to even look at myself or my brother. I can only see my therapist again in about 2 months I really need help. I just want things normal away and for this to go away. Is it normal ? Has anyone ever experienced this? I really need all the help and advice I can get. Please I am becoming desperate i rlly need all the advice or cure for whatever this shit is. This is sick snd im disgusting. Please ? Anyone? I really do not know what to do anymore so if really appreciate someone saying something