I see a lot of folks here can’t find a partner. I’m good at finding them, but I always find my needs are secondary or they just want to get serious super fast. It rarely feels healthy. Then I have to leave.
I’ve (37m) been dating my girlfriend (30f) for 3 years. She is not Jewish. She’s always been respectful of my beliefs and traditions. She’s the best person I’ve ever dated- kind, honest. I struggled for a long time to find a girlfriend, so it’s important to me.
Like many people, our relationship predates 10/7. Since then, I’ve reconnected more with my Judaism. I feel like a major challenge for me has been antisemitism. I go through periods of deep sadness after major horrible events like Bondi Beach. I also have experienced antisemitism in left-wing spaces I used to have more social connection such as my workplace. This has caused me to turn more to Jewish spaces. While my girlfriend isn’t anti-Israel herself, a lot of spaces she engages with are. She doesn’t understand the change.
I know my girlfriend doesn’t experience things the same way, but I feel there should be some support around this. She feels that I am focusing too much on the negative and that things will turn around. She doesn’t want to discuss what will happen if things turn in the US, if I’d have to leave the country, even though I think it’s a valid concern.
I don’t want to be that Jewish guy that dates outside the community until things get serious, but now that she wants to get engaged I’m getting nervous. I feel like I want myself and my future children (even if not fully Jewish) to feel supported. Am I expecting too much?