Hi there! New user, never posted but curious to see if anyone else is in the same boat.
My boyfriend (37) and I (30F) have been together 9 years. We also have two kids. This isnt the first time he's been depressed or the first time that he hasn't been present, but this is the first time he's been emotionally absent. He lost his job and doesnt want to work (which he knows is selfish) so I picked up a second job to make sure we stay afloat.
Im exhausted. Im working both jobs (1st shift and a 3rd shift), handling the kids and their schedules, maintaining the household things, and trying to maintain my own hobbies (volunteering and such), and being supportive with him. I check in with him and try to have deeper conversations with him, but he shuts down, shuts me out, or completely dismisses when I try to bring up how im feeling with him about things. It started in November but the emotional blindness to my feelings or how im feeling started in January. I tried again today, and he said he recognizes that he's not here emotionally but doesnt know what to do. He doesnt take medication and he doesnt want to seek help. He stays up all night and then sleeps all day. He doesnt really help around the house or with the kids unless I ask. He started playing some games on his phone, and thats what he's doing when he's awake, all the time. We have really good conversations but theyre all surface level and I have to be the one to initiate them most of the time. He's not being mean or hurtful towards me, he's just not being aware but when I make him aware, it gets dismissed and then we dont talk about it again, until the next time I try to bring it up (a few days to a few weeks later).
Is there anyone in the same boat that can offer some advice?