Turning 25 but I just want it all to end – I’m lost, burned out and see no future
I turned 25 two weeks ago and instead of feeling happy or excited, I feel only bitterness, anxiety and deep sadness. I’m completely lost.
Lately the only thing in my head is whether I should just end it for example by taking the whole pack of my ADHD medication. I’ve been on meds since February because of severe dopamine and focus problems.
The biggest trigger for all of this is my job and the complete lack of direction in my life. I have a Bachelor’s in Logistics and for the last 3 years I’ve been working as a Global Planner. Sounds decent on paper, but I feel absolutely nothing. Every year it gets worse. My life is just 8 hours in front of a computer, gym, sleep, repeat. I feel like I contribute nothing and my days are meaningless.
My psychologist says I’m too obsessed with career success. My girlfriend has basically no big goals and seems fine with it. I’m the opposite, I always wanted more, but now I don’t even know what I want.
I come from a broken home. My dad is an alcoholic who loves playing mind games and the victim card. My mom is also nt strong psychologlly person, she alweys fierd of dumping him because she had nothing, not even her home becaouse my family house was bulid entierly by my dads hands. I was lonely and bullied throughout school. Only at university did I finally find real friends, and our grupo has still been toughter ever since. Also was able to find romantic intrested, somedays I’m thinking why I even got to be with such wonderfull, humble, and open heart person like she is. Sometimes I think if I even deserve to be happy with her and my friends.
Because of all that I think I put way too much pressure on work to give my life meaning.
I never did a Master’s. Once tried weekend studies in late 2025 and quit after a month. My company offers zero development. I’ve looked at other logistics jobs and feel like I’m not good enough.I also went to culinary school and I’m actually really good at cooking. I even made cooking content on TikTok and Instagram, for a while it felt amazing at the beginning. But my perfectionism burned me out. Did a Michelin internship and realized I don’t want restaurant life either.
Now I feel stuck. I don’t enjoy my job, I don’t have passion for anything strong enough to build a future on, and I’m terrified I’ll waste the rest of my 20s like I wasted my childhood and teens.I don’t want to live just to pay bills and feel empty. I want to feel like I belong somewhere and that my life has some purpose. Right now I feel like a replaceable cog that could disappear tomorrow and nothing would change.
I’ve already been to four psychologists so please don’t suggest therapy. On my last session my psychologist told me this:
„Well I can relate to you because I’m overexpirience and most of time recruiters tell me that I have to much expirience for this work”. - Yeah no shit thank you very fucking much for helping me out Mr. Best in the World, nice fucking expirience you got jn helping people out.
I just needed to get this off my chest. I’m so tired of feeling this way every single day. If anyone has been through something similar and found their way out, I’d love to hear it. Or even if you just want to say something, anything helps right now.