I’m going to try to make this complex and very long story short enough to get any insight to this question.
I’ve been seeing someone for 6+ months, I met him on a BDSM dating app. Basically, I’m noticing patterns. He knows I’m insecure and constantly compares me to his ex both sexually and with other tasks I do for him like clean his house. These comparisons are just straight up harsh sometimes (things are said like: she did this and it was more exciting, you are lacking) he will make me feel awful about something like I’m not doing good enough. When I communicate that I’m hurting emotionally he basically dismisses that and tells me I’m thinking about things wrong and should be more submissive. He calls me argumentative. He threatens to leave at times. But then he pulls me back in, suggesting I have potential to do better or even telling me I do, and telling me what I need to do to do better. The goalposts constantly move and he compares me to others to try and get me to do what he wants knowing I’m insecure.