u/Independent_Egg3593

Me (27F) and my partner (29F) broke up in October and I’m still her caregiver with no support from family or friends. I’ve been her full time caregiver for about five years now, starting from about a year into our relationship. Our relationship was not the healthiest, but we really were best friends and so although the breakup was messy we’ve remained on pretty good terms. I’m really struggling with not having any space to heal though, since we still live together.

She’s been looking for a new caregiver and for accessible housing but until then everything still falls on me. Her family has never been helpful, it’s always been completely on me to meet her needs. I work full time to support both of us (she’s on disability benefits but that’s barely anything) and take care of the house, take her to appointments, organize medication, etc. Any transportation she needs is on me to take care of.

I’ve been waking up early every day even if it makes me sleep deprived so that I can get at least two hours completely to myself. This helps a little, but I’m still so overwhelmed all the time. I’m carrying the resentment from the relationship, the grief from the breakup, and the burnout from caregiving. I’m supposed to return to school full time in the fall to finish my degree but I don’t see how it’s possible with how things currently are. I thought she would have been able to find a caregiver by now, but it hasn’t happened because of insurance issues. I don’t want to put off returning for another semester, I already pulled out of returning this spring and cried like a baby when i realized I would have to wait until fall. It’s my dream to get my degree.

My ex already thinks she’s a major burden and that she’s ‘ruined my life’ so I don’t want to share any of these feelings with her. It’s not her fault she’s sick and that I’m the only support she has. I’m just exhausted and I don’t see any solutions in sight :( I wish I could get even just a week to myself. I haven’t taken more than a day or two off work at a time in two years, and I haven’t had a day off from caregiving in even longer. I just want to cry all the time and my mental health has been getting worse even with consistent therapy and medication management.

Me (27F) and my partner (29F) broke up in October and I’m still her caregiver, with no support from family or friends. I’ve been her full time caregiver for about five years now, starting from about a year into our relationship. Our relationship was not the healthiest, but we really were best friends and so although the breakup was messy we’ve remained on pretty good terms. I’m really struggling with not having any space to heal though, since we still live together.

She’s been looking for a new caregiver and for accessible housing but until then everything still falls on me. Her family has never been helpful, it’s always been completely on me to meet her needs. I work full time to support both of us (she’s on disability benefits but that’s barely anything) and take care of the house, take her to appointments, organize medication, etc. Any transportation she needs is on me to take care of.

I’ve been waking up early every day even if it makes me sleep deprived so that I can get at least two hours completely to myself. This helps a little, but I’m still so overwhelmed all the time. I’m carrying the resentment from the relationship, the grief from the breakup, and the burnout from caregiving. I’m supposed to return to school full time in the fall to finish my degree but I don’t see how it’s possible with how things currently are. I thought she would have been able to find a caregiver by now, but it hasn’t happened because of insurance issues. I don’t want to put off returning for another semester, I already pulled out of returning this spring and cried like a baby when i realized I would have to wait until fall. It’s my dream to get my degree.

My ex already thinks she’s a major burden and that she’s ‘ruined my life’ so I don’t want to share any of these feelings with her. It’s not her fault she’s sick and that I’m the only support she has. I’m just exhausted and I don’t see any solutions in sight :( I wish I could get even just a week to myself. I haven’t taken more than a day or two off work at a time in two years, and I haven’t had a day off from caregiving in even longer. I just want to cry all the time.