I'm angry... AGAIN smh
RECAP: I was married to this woman for 18 years, had kids, planned to die in this woman's arms of old age or viceversa (silly me right?). When I met her, I knew she was Bi but from what I understood being Bi didn't mean you were poly. In January she drops a bombshell on me that she "emotionally cheated" on me with a woman. It was devastating, but according to her it only led to romantic talking and sensual hugs. We tried to work it out we broke up, got back together and then finally settled on divorce. Due to the economy our house hasn't sold and we had to rent a house together where I am relegated to a guest room. But my concern is my kids so I'm trying to cope. I still love this woman deeply (crazy right?) even though I do not want to be with her (for what she did to me) and don't expect to ever be with her again.
I was cleaning up around the house I share with the now Lesbian wife, hopefully soon to be ex-wife, and I found some rolled up binder paper.
My kids, 14 and 17, often have rolled up binder paper like this laying around and one time it was an assignment that had not been turned in. All this to say I didn't mean to..... I read it and it was two love letters from my wife and her love interest.
This is the person who "helped her see she was not in love with me and instead a lesbian." That person, the love interest hereby known as the D.r. is also married. She is married with a woman and has a daughter around 4 years old. In March my wife hereby known as the Nurse, told me that they broke it off and weren't going to talk anymore.
I can't really explain why but it has always been important to me that this be true. That they were not still talking and that they were not pursuing a relationship. To me it was about morals, dignity and respect. The Dr. is married and they have a child and even though it shouldn't matter to me I felt like that was trifling and scandalous of the nurse.
The letters are dated for August and September. In it she tells the Dr. that she truly loves her and is wondering how long she has to wait for her to leave her wife.
I'm fucking pissed! I don't want to feel this way, but it brings me back to the feeling of betrayal. I cried like a baby in my car. Yelled to the heavens. A break down. I don't want to live with her; I don't want to see her ever again. I feel that she has earned my hatred.
In the letter the Nurse complains about not being able to bring the Dr. along to some of the activities our kids do. Are you kidding me? She complains about me always wanting to be there "all of a sudden." Does she mean now that our kids need me around more than ever?
I desperately want to report the Dr. for ethics violations and cuss out the Nurse for her flagrant disrespect. If the Dr. were a man I feel like she would know better.
Anyways I need my pills.