Am I (F19) starting to resent my bf (M18) ??
Okayyy so basically when my boyfriend (M18) and I (F19) first started dating he had a job he’s been working for over a year then quit last November and got another job December-early February, at his job he’s got after the holidays he was rarely scheduled and did a bit of sports gambling 😬
I got really irritated at him because by the time his sports gambling really started to have an impact on him it was around my birthday and i calculated all his spending which totaled to around $300-400. He spent around $150 days before my birthday but all of my birthday gifts came in late, he didn’t even doordashed me anything day of my birthday. We (used) to DoorDash food to each other a lot when we first started dating. Now that he’s unemployed I didn’t mind offering to buy him food bc I knew money was tight for him. But now as it goes on part of me kind of wished he would avidly try to get a job, it truly does hurt me seeing a lot of girls my age get spoiled by their significant others when I can’t relate to that. Of course we are both young and still in school so I try to not let it get to me but recently a small incident that happened and made me really think about it now, he hasn’t bought me any food or DoorDash anything to me even when I’m feeling down or having a bad day I try not to make it a big deal but he spends his money on games.
I don’t want to seem selfish but I just feel like it isn’t reciprocated at all and it’s hard to bring up this especially when it comes to gifts because money is so tight and he has stated multiple times that he doesn’t want a job rn. I think to go on with the unemployment, his sleep schedule is the worse he wakes up when im getting ready to go to sleep and goes to sleep when i wake up so we kind of barely talk. But that never stopped me from letting him know that im thinking of him, im always giving him updates on my day and just giving him reassurance while when i wake up i get nothing from him, I get no messages or anything from him.
I’ve told him multiple times how i feel unwanted whenever this happens because i truly feel like nothing is ever reciprocated, the thing is i bring this issue up to him he brings up how it seems like nothing he does is ever enough for me which obviously makes me feel bad and guilty for asking for anything. Idk there’s so many times where I want to be spoiled, not in a way where gifts are involved but just with words.