u/Independent_Wind6199

For context, my uni has this going‑abroad scheme and I applied after I kept seeing signs and stuff, but I didn’t dwell on it because I thought it was just a coincidence. I didn’t tell anyone I applied — I just let the universe decide. I even used manifestation techniques and genuinely believed it would work. I stayed positive and didn’t overthink anything.
But I got rejected, and I’m honestly so done. It feels like I have bad luck because this keeps happening, and I don’t understand why it didn’t go my way even though I tried to stay positive.

For context, I’m quite sensitive — I feel things easily and get hurt, so I might be overthinking this, and I don’t really know why it’s been bothering me. In the past, I wasn’t a very good friend during my teen years (around 15–16). Since then, I’ve tried to improve myself. I’m not a victim and I know I wasn’t always a good person — I need to fix up. I used to be quiet about things, very clingy, get jealous, and overall quite avoidant and negative. Since then, I’ve done a lot of self-reflection, become more attentive, stopped dwelling on toxic patterns, and genuinely changed as a person.
Recently, I’ve made a friend at uni and we became really close. However, one encounter kind of changed how I feel. During one hangout, I felt a bit weird — nothing major, but she seemed slightly annoyed at me. I initially thought it was because she was tired, so I brushed it off. But since then, there have been a few similar moments.
After that, we had the Easter break, and she invited me to her house, which was really nice, but after that we didn’t really talk much — nothing bad, just family time and being busy. I’m not someone who is on my phone a lot anyway. When we came back to uni, her roommate invited me over and it was really fun, but she seemed slightly annoyed at me and made a few snide comments. For example, she assumed I was sitting on the couch and was about to tell me to get up, but I was already standing.
Since then, it’s felt like small things keep happening. The next day I was invited again, and I kept my distance because I felt a bit off. She noticed and things felt a bit awkward. Later I lied and said I was upset about something else, and after that she was really chill again. But then on another occasion, like movie night, she again made comments that felt a bit mean.
It just confuses me because she doesn’t seem to speak to our other friends like that. Even small things, like a comment about my message being “waffle,” felt a bit jarring. I didn’t respond much and just stayed quiet, but I can’t tell if I’m overthinking it or if something actually feels off. It just feels strange and I don’t really know what to make of it. ( I found out she’s going thru stuff with her bf so probs why she’s moody)