Disclaimer: No AI was used for this post
Hi folks,
Just wanted to check in with you all after a long time. I’m a 27F from Pune. I actually found my partner (27M) right here on this sub after making a post back in June 2023. We’ve been together since then and are planning to get married this year. I’m honestly so grateful to this community and the people here for that.
I’ve been lurking and reading the sub for a while, and since it’s a holiday for me today, I figured I’d finally share some thoughts.
First off, I love this community. I find so many rational, like-minded people here. I firmly believe that most childfree (CF) folks are mature and thoughtful, which is exactly what drives this stance; especially considering the current state of the world.
That said, I’ve noticed a few things I wanted to get off my chest. Sometimes I see people being very aggressive, both online and offline toward folks who want children or already have them. I know there are idiots out there who say nonsense about our choice, and it's fine to argue your point, but please don't be aggressive.
Here is why I feel this way:
- We shouldn't become what we dislike: If we start spewing hate, we aren’t any different from the people judging us.
- Life isn’t just a "flex": We didn't choose this life to show off. Sure, we have more freedom and maybe more disposable income, but life isn't purely glamorous. We deal with climate change, bad government policies, and inflation just like everyone else. If anything, we need to save even more for retirement because we’ll likely need professional care or retirement homes in our old age. While kids aren't a guarantee of care for others, we definitely shouldn't be flaunting "extra money" as if we have no future costs.
- Bashing others creates hate: Putting down someone else's choice just makes them hate our community. If you want people to understand why you're CF, give your genuine reasons. You don't need to insult someone else to make your point.
- Avoiding the wrong kind of attention: This is specific to India - look at how we are being taxed right now. We really don't want to give the government a reason to target or tax childfree folks specifically because we're perceived as "wealthy" or "carefree". They won't care that we need that money for our old age. Please choose your words carefully.
I’m not sure how this will be received, but I just wanted to share my perspective.
On a side note, I recently came across an app called DinkSocial on Instagram. It looks interesting, though I haven't seen much activity from India yet. I was thinking about trying to plan something there eventually, maybe a way for CF couples to connect. Or if you folks know of other Desi forums like this, do let me know!
Anyway, that’s all from my side. Hope you all have a happy long weekend!