u/Individual-Drink-984

▲ 27 r/stroke

My mum 72, passed on 8 May.

She suffered a haemorrhagic stroke four days prior, with below recorded on first admission. She was transferred to a major trauma hospital were surgery was an option, however she had significantly deteriorated neurologically and the bleed had grown, so surgery was no longer viable.

My dad, sister and I under advice from medical staff opted for palliative as per mum’s DNR requests and lack of quality of life. She was unconscious 4 hours after stroke onset.

Her funeral was last week, and as I slowly re-enter ‘normal’ life, I’m second guessing everything. We watched her die, in a manner we would never let our closest animals suffer. There was nothing peaceful about it, and we questioned everything in her struggle to transition.

I see success stories, but doctors described it as a catastrophic bleed with mass effect.

Please reassure me that there was absolutely no coming back from this with any quality of life or independence?

- Right eye deviation
- Dense L hemiplegia
GCS 13/15
CT demonstrating Large right frontal intraparenchymal hemorrhage measuring 9x5.3x4.3cm (axial x
craniocaudal) with moderate vasogenic edema and causing mild leftward subfalcine herniation.
Moderately effaced right lateral ventricular with intra-ventricular hemorrhage extension. Mildly effaced left
lateral ventricule. Subdural extension (thickened falx) and scattered subarachnoid hemorrhage (bifrontal).

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u/Individual-Drink-984 — 2 days ago

YES we are! I’m just existing!

Not dx, suspect and pending ax in July.

Manager (not my direct manager) pulls be aside today to ask if we are ok or if they have don’t anything because of how I have verbally communicated in the past few weeks:

Apparently “spoke at them” in a meeting - I was the chair of the meeting….

In another meeting, apparently asking what their expectations are and seeking that clarification was too direct.

At what point is this a them problem and not a me problem? Or is it a me problem?

In all my 43 years of life I’ve never been pulled up on my directness more than I have this year.

So maybe I do want advice, but I’m also venting.

I’m just trying to exist here

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u/Individual-Drink-984 — 23 days ago