la la land-type of breakup
My (28F) ex (30M) and I dated for 2 years. It started as long distance, but we lived in the same country and saw each other constantly, sometimes spending weeks or a month together at a time. It never truly felt like LD. I felt loved, safe, and at peace with him. We talked about marriage and genuinely saw a future together.
Everything changed when his job sent him back to his home country in Sept 2025 because of visa/immigration issues. After that, he slowly became a shell of himself. He withdrew from me, his friends, and even his family. I tried so hard to help him, but eventually realized only he could save himself.
He broke up with me in Feb 2026. He said the distance between countries, our careers, immigration realities, and uncertainty about the future became too much. Deep down, I know he was telling the truth. We loved each other, but our futures realistically don’t align right now.
The breakup destroyed me, but I’ve handled it as maturely as I can. I stayed NC, focused on grad school, the gym, eating better, and rebuilding myself. On my birthday (April) he texted me, but it was just a normal birthday message. After that, I decided to stop waiting for him to come back. Because coming back wouldn’t change the reality of our futures…
BUT, today, my best friend told me she saw him (here, in the state I live) on Friday with his friends. He didn’t see her. He never told me he was here. And tbh, it broke me all over again.
I know he doesn’t owe me anything. I know we’re broken up. But I can’t stop thinking that if what we had was so real and special, how could he come here and not even tell me?
Part of me wants to text him something simple in the most mature way, like “I know you don’t owe me anything, but I’m disappointed you were here and didn’t tell me.” Not to fight or to beg, but just to let it out.
I know it wouldn’t change anything, he already came here and decided not to reach out. But maybe his response will give a better explanation from what my anxious mind is making up… so, should I break NC?