Hey all,
I’ve been married for 20 years and I feel completely drained. I think I’m done.
My husband barely works maybe 30 hours in a good week and still manages to accuse me of cheating (which is wild, because I have zero interest in that. I just want peace, to get my life organized, and spend time with my kids).
We recently had a huge fight because he’s just not reliable. At this point, I don’t even ask him to do things because I already expect to be disappointed. There’s no real hatred between us, but we’re both clearly tired of the constant back-and-forth.
What really gets me is the hypocrisy. He used to go on and on about how his mom raised four kids alone with no child support, and he’d argue that women who want child support should just let the father take custody. We’ve fought about this a lot. My mindset was always: split things fairly 50/50 custody, no child support, no alimony, keep it simple.
Now suddenly? He’s talking about wanting money if we split. And I’m sitting here like… have you been playing me this whole time?
He could earn as much as I do he has a degree but chooses to work part-time instead. Meanwhile, I’m already stretched thin covering bills. From what I’ve looked up, I could end up paying him a significant amount in alimony, which honestly feels insane given the situation.
Part of me is thinking, “Is it cheaper to stay?” which is a terrible place to be mentally. Another part of me is considering helping him find a better-paying job before making any moves, just to protect myself financially.
I have so much resentment at this point. And yeah… I wish I had left years ago.
Has anyone here been in a situation where you had to pay alimony to a spouse who could work but doesn’t? How did it play out?