Advice?
Hi, all. I’m (24F) & concerned about my (23M) boyfriend. We’ve been together a little over 1 year, and I’ve noticed consistent patterns of his that I thought he was just forgetful.
After confiding in a close friend whom I didn’t know was diagnosed and medicated for ADD, highly recommended me to push my boyfriend to get tested due to a lot of his behaviors I explained are how this friend was before getting diagnosed and medicated for ADD.
Can I have someone’s opinion on these below? My boyfriend did get tested, and told me the doctor thinks it’s anxiety he may have and not ADD.
His doctor isn’t the one who spends time with him daily though, and honestly these below are affecting my feelings in my relationship. I have absolutely no ADD/ADHD.. knowledge, etc. I’d appreciate any advice.
- He forgets things so often. This is the biggest issue I have. I understand being a forgetful person, but it’s honestly at a concerning point to me.
a. He once forgot flowers he bought for me and says he would bring them the next day. Then forgets the very next day, and this happened for like 3 days. This has happened 2 times or so.
b. Not going to open this entire can of worms but the gist is he had a OF subscription account attached to his email. There was payments on the account attached to both of his bank cards. This was before me, so the OF subscriptions/ account isn’t the issue.
The issue is he told me he’s never ever used OF or made any accounts. He told me he never made the account (Yet attached to his email), and never paid for anything on it (Yet attached to both of his 2 bank card numbers for reoccurring payments.)
What the hell do I make of that entire situation? I still don’t know. I also genuinely don’t think he’s lying to me.
— I’m going to end that here, but there are more situations I can describe.
- He’ll ‘misplace’ / ‘lose’ items when it is in his hand, or within eyesight.
- He doesn’t handle important things unless there is a deadline in which he will do that the day of.
- He seems withdrawn from conversation and that he isn’t listening to me- like, he doesn’t seem engaged or interested in what I have to say.
- I try to tell him to do things to help himself do/remember certain things, and he just doesn’t do them or seem he wants to.
- I’m not saying he IS, but to ME, he seems quite lazy. He has a job and is responsible from what I know, but just lack of getting adult things taken care of in a timely manner throws me off.
I truly care for him, he’s genuine, and sweet but this is affecting me negatively in my relationship.
I’m very much the opposite of the behaviors I described how he is above, and a ‘control freak’ if you will.
I honestly thought it could be ADD in him (ADHD runs in his family.) but could it be he’s just.. like that as a person? There’s other situations / concerns I haven’t posted, but that’s some that I wonder if it is ADD related?..
I really don’t know what to do and don’t want to resort to breaking up, but I’m at a loss right now. Thank you for anyone who responds.