I’m struggling with my estrangement from my mother because it doesn’t seem to fit the story a lot of you have. I remember a good relationship with my mom as a child. The only negative thing I really remember is that I never wanted to share any personal details of my life with her, the less she knew the better. She has always been slightly judgmental and critical. But she never was abusive or anything and I remember loving her sooo much once upon a time and good memories.
She got divorced and remarried about 15 years ago (I’m 39 so I was an adult). Since then, our relationship has slowly deteriorated. But, not in the form of fights or any specific incidents. She moved 2 hours away. I resented that because I was a single parent in my 20s at the time who really needed my mom. Not even financially, just her presence. We’re at the point now where we’re VLC but not necessarily on purpose on my part. She never reaches out to me and goes months without checking if me or her grandkids are dead or alive. I stopped reaching out to her too once I realized this. I’m sad about it. I wish I had more evidence that she’s just a terrible person, but I don’t. And since I don’t, I feel like I’m the problem or unlovable. I guess I’m just wondering if anyone has a similar story or how to deal with it. I’m pushing 40 and I’m embarrassed this impacts me the way it does at this age. Feeling like not even your own mother cares about you, is hard. I’m working on caring for myself better, but it just doesn’t erase the sting.