Asked a girl how her test went and received death threats from her bf. What should I do?
Hi I've had a really weird day lol. I would love some advice.
I'm a 21M university student. Most of my classes are 80% girls and so many of my university friends are girls - I'm including this to sort of say that I'm very comfortable being "just" friends with girls, and usually its my like default go to.
In one of my classes there's this girl (I'll call her Jess) who I often sit with and talk to. I wouldnt have said we were proper friends, but she always seemed super nice, friendly and happy to chat during class. We have hungout a few times over the semester together both as a group and one on one, and seemed to get along really well.
Also in the class there are another 4-5 girls who I am much closer with and usually sit and chat with, and will hang out outside of class very regularly. Two of them were friends with Jess prior to this class. We are currently towards the end of semester and so have spent nearly 3 months hanging out in class.
I had a test for one of my classes this morning, and I arrived quite early before the test and ended up chatting with Jess for nearly 40 minutes before class today.
I went into the exam maybe 5 minutes before Jess, and even though there were heaps of other seats she sat next to me, and like we were sharing little jokes right before the test.
Anyway, I guess this is where I might have been a little weird, but I don't really think so? I wanted to see how she found the test, but I didn't have anyway to contact her. So I asked our mutual friends if they thought she'd mind if they'd give me her instagram to message her.
I thought I was super polite messaging Jess, I basically said:
"I'm sorry if this is weird seeing as we dont really talk outside of class. I just wanted to see how you found the test today. I asked mutual friend for your instagram, I hope that was okay."
Anyway, she didnt respond, and about an hour later I received heaps of threats and messages from an unknown instagram account, (ended up being Jess's BF), saying basically dont ever talk to or contact her again or you wont make it back to university.
I've never had anything like this happen before and honestly I'm speechless. I feel so bad. I hate the idea that I might have made her uncomfortable or given her the wrong impression somehow?
Maybe her boyfriend is super controlling idk. Maybe Jess was insecure and couldnt explain who I was to her bf?
I didnt even know she had a bf, and more importantly I wasn't trying to hit on her in anyway. Don't get me wrong, she is super cute and nice, but I didn't know her well enough, I truly was just interested in how she found the test + being friends.
I dont know if I should message Jess again trying to clarify that I wasn't trying to hit on her or make her uncomfortable? I dont even know how you could get that impression from my message or behaviour?
Its a pretty small cohort and I wont really be able to avoid her or avoid speaking to her. I'm so embarassed I dont know if I want to tell my friends in that class or what. I also obviously don't want to get like attacked or whatever by her bf.
EDIT:
Thank you everyone, I can see that I definitely misjudged the significance of bypassing asking Jess herself if I could message her/have a way of messaging her, by going to our friends. I think because we were all talking about the test after Jess left and I kind of just thought like I wonder how she went, so it felt more natural. But yeah I can see that I should have approached it much differently - my friends could have asked her and I could have heard from them, or I should have just waited and spoken to her in person.
I definitely wont do that anything like like that again. I also hadn't truly understood how potentially dangerous for her this mistake from me was, if she does have a controlling boyfriend - and also just how weird it was for me to do eitherway. I'm not really sure why I didnt just wait until next week's class. I definitely wont message her again
EDIT:
I think I should clarify because I realised my original post definitely downplayed how well I knew we knew each other. We talk a fair amount during the classes and usually seemed like we get along quite well. We have actually hung out quite a few times outside of class, just still in a university setting, in both a group and one on one setting, getting food, studying, and just general chilling. I think that’s why I felt that it wasn’t that weird. But yeah I misread that situation clearly.
EDIT:
I will definitely be going to the police to file a report because I think that the bf’s behaviour is massively out of proportion regardless of whether my behaviour was appropriate or not. thanks for all the advice everyone.