u/Individual_Dust_6062

(DISCLAIMER: english isn't my first language so I might phrase things in a weird way)

My friend is probably a hoarder. She doesn't think that she's a hoarder, only that her place is messy and only needs a little help with cleaning.

She can't even enter her bedroom because the door is completely blocked off by her stuff.

Other than that you need to climb over piles of boxes, books and fabric to reach the bathroom. To reach the sink you have to lean over a pile of clothes and the bathtub is blocked off by stuff too.

Scissors are just lying around on the couch where she sleeps and I've found a cup with moldy contents underneath a table before.

She does have people who get paid to try and help her clean her apartment, but she doesn't trust them so she doesn't actually let them do anything.

Now every couple months or even weeks I get a call from her that she can't take it anymore and needs help from friends to clean her apartment because she says we are the only ones she can trust with that.

I've helped her clear out a space in her living room once before and in all the clutter it is very difficult to discern what is and isn't trash and every shred of paper you find might be part of a sewing pattern she still planned on using and she will get angry if it ends up in the trash.

She won't take any trash bags out for long periods of time because the large trash cans outside the house are allegedly always full because of the neighbours.

Or she will hold onto things (plushies, figurines, lego sets) because she wants to sell them but every time she manages to sell one thing she impulse buys two new things.

While cleaning she also gets easily distracted and when she finds something interesting in the clutter she will first want to talk at lengths about it (what it is, where it's from etc.)

So it's extremely stressful trying to get anything done.

When I was there we did still manage to clear out some space but only a couple months later when I went there for her birthday the entire apartment somehow looked worse than before. Recently I got another call from her that she needs help, but I feel anxious about just setting foot in her apartment again.

I don't know what to do anymore. She's had lots of people come help her clear out stuff over the years but new stuff keeps accumulating and the cycle continues.

I don't feel equipped to help her anymore, but at the same time I don't want to abandon her. I'm at a loss. Should I just give up or is there still a reasonable way for me to support her?

(DISCLAIMER: english isn't my first language so I might phrase things in a weird way)

My friend is probably a hoarder. She doesn't think that she's a hoarder, only that her place is messy and only needs a little help with cleaning.

She can't even enter her bedroom because the door is completely blocked off by her stuff.

Other than that you need to climb over piles of boxes, books and fabric to reach the bathroom. To reach the sink you have to lean over a pile of clothes and the bathtub is blocked off by stuff too.

Scissors are just lying around on the couch where she sleeps and I've found a cup with moldy contents underneath a table before.

She does have people who get paid to try and help her clean her apartment, but she doesn't trust them so she doesn't actually let them do anything.

Now every couple months or even weeks I get a call from her that she can't take it anymore and needs help from friends to clean her apartment because she says we are the only ones she can trust with that.

I've helped her clear out a space in her living room once before and in all the clutter it is very difficult to discern what is and isn't trash and every shred of paper you find might be part of a sewing pattern she still planned on using and she will get angry if it ends up in the trash.

She won't take any trash bags out for long periods of time because the large trash cans outside the house are allegedly always full because of the neighbours.

Or she will hold onto things (plushies, figurines, lego sets) because she wants to sell them but every time she manages to sell one thing she impulse buys two new things.

While cleaning she also gets easily distracted and when she finds something interesting in the clutter she will first want to talk at lengths about it (what it is, where it's from etc.)

So it's extremely stressful trying to get anything done.

When I was there we did still manage to clear out some space but only a couple months later when I went there for her birthday the entire apartment somehow looked worse than before. Recently I got another call from her that she needs help, but I feel anxious about just setting foot in her apartment again.

I don't know what to do anymore. She's had lots of people come help her clear out stuff over the years but new stuff keeps accumulating and the cycle continues.

I don't feel equipped to help her anymore, but at the same time I don't want to abandon her. I'm at a loss. Should I just give up or is there still a reasonable way for me to support her?