Thoughts after following therapist’s advice
I’ve been diagnosed about 9 months ago.
I tried therapy out of curiosity after I got more financially stable, because I felt that my mindset was constantly worsening my quality of life and I was receiving numerous advice from my online friends.
After therapist diagnosed me, they told me it could be manageable through talk therapy and the main point of therapy in that case is usually to help smoothly integrating into society. In a nutshell they were telling me to not give up on socializing cause it had its own advantages. I was really skeptical about it , but I tried putting actual effort into this, cause it wasn’t getting better anyways.
I must admit that sometimes socializing could get interesting when you’re talking to an interesting person with lots of stories to tell, but I never managed to build a deeper connections, cause I couldn’t relate to the most experiences like dating or getting upset about certain things, etc. And honestly talking to people about their dramas and conflicts sometimes felt like being in a National Geographic tv show, trying to observe and figure out why would someone act in such way.
i feel like even when you are trying to put an effort to socialize, some people still sense that you are not being genuine and some even get offended. People who do not notice often appear very shallow so you don’t want to connect with them further either. I was even told people experienced this uncanny valley feeling from me.
I do not feel that I have gained any big advantages at work through networking, cause in the end people still prefer their more ‘normal’ peers. I also feel that it might have went a bit better if I wasn’t a female.
It was a new experience, but honestly I don’t think the effort and time I’ve put into this was worth it. I’m kind of proud of giving it a try and overall feeling more confident, but after months of trying I’m feeling really burnt out.
Somehow it even felt quite dehumanizing from time to time, cause the way people describe your lifestyle sounds like you are a parody of a human being.
Currently I am not visiting the therapist cause at some point I just really didn’t have anything to tell, it is quite expensive as well.
I would really appreciate if someone could share their experience with therapy too.