Classic love-bombing or?
I’m 28F and matched with a guy (28M). We talked on Hinge for around a day and a half and then exchanged numbers. We talked over texts and calls for a few days, and within a week of matching, he asked if he could take me out for a date. The conversations through the week were an absolute pleasure. He was kind, sweet, respectful, funny, and honestly checked all the boxes. In addition to that, we were both at similar places in terms of what we were looking for from this.
We probably spoke about everything that should have been discussed pre-date. Safe to say, we enjoyed each other’s company — virtually, at least.
I’d also mentioned to him that I’m usually very awkward when I meet someone for the first time in person, which is usually very contrasting to my virtual personality. He handled it pretty well.
The first date (Friday) lasted around 7 hours — needless to say, the awkwardness decided to take a day off. Safe to say the date went pretty well, considering we spent that many hours together, and the same was communicated to me more than a few times. We got on a call as soon as we sat in our cars and continued talking for another 2-ish hours.
We spoke constantly the next day too, but within limits, considering we’re both working adults. He asked if I was available for dinner on Sunday. I had plans with family so I couldn’t say yes, but I think he got the idea that 2 dates in the span of 3 days could be a little too much — so he revoked the offer, lol.
We decided to meet for dinner during the week, but this time we’d completely skip drinks. We communicated really well throughout the week — midday calls, texts, yada yada. But the dinner didn’t happen because both of our work schedules were pretty packed, and that was communicated from both ends.
We ended up meeting on Friday (the second date), and this time we spent around 4–5 hours together — dinner and a few drinks. I don’t think either of us wanted the date to end, but we had to wrap it up. We continued on a call as soon as we sat in our cars, and once we reached our respective destinations, we switched to video calls. We easily spoke for over 3 hours, until I fell asleep talking to him.
Both dates went pretty well, and I think we were on the same page about that. We spoke about pretty much everything — work, family, friends, life, the future, expectations, and more.
The momentum over the weekend slowed down a little — I was busy with plans with friends, and him with work. I think he also needed a little time to himself. The momentum continued to be low for the next couple of days, until he said he wouldn’t be able to continue whatever this was, because his work was currently very demanding of his time, and he had things going on on the family front — the typical handbook response, I guess.
What left me confused was: how can a guy go from 100 to zero in 3 days? Is this a textbook example of love bombing? I have my doubts, because he did seem very interested and involved throughout — he looked genuine and wasn’t just fooling around. I also know his work had been taxing, because he mentioned it in passing a couple of times. At the same time, when work gets overwhelming, you ask for a slowdown — you don’t opt out entirely. Or do you?