u/Individual_Purple240

I am a FTM to an 11 week old who has been really unsettled the whole time. He has been through a bout of tummy issues like CMPI, which has now been addressed, but I am exhausted. We have tried Oestepath to help birth tension as well.

He is a Velcro baby, I can not put him down without him screaming. If I am lucky I will get 5 to 10 minutes where I can put him on his play mat.

I also suffer from a cronic illness in which i naturally have fatigue from. I am utterly exhausted, and as most of my support people work full time it is hard to have any relief during the day. I baby wear, but he does not like me sitting when doing so, which i can't always stand due to the fatigue. He doesn't like the car seat or pram and has to be asleep in both otherwise he is crying.

Mums of unsettled and difficult babies, when does it get better? I am genuinely so mentally and physically drained already, and we are only at week 11.

I'm a first-time mum to an 11week old baby boy. It hasn't been the easiest road. I already have had 2 hospital trips for Bub, and he has been extremely unsettled. He is also a Velcro baby and will not sleep in a cot or bassinet. Contact naps only, which makes it really hard for me to do anything during the day if not baby wearing. I am seeing someone for post natal depression and anxiety that I am struggling with. I also have MS (multiple sclerosis), which just adds to the fatigue of being a mum. So all in all it has been a lot...

My partner is really helpful, and he takes care of everything else in the house, which I am really appreciative of, but I know he is struggling to juggle work and home. Plus, my mood swings 😅

What frustrates me is that all our family and friends kept telling me "it takes a village" and that they are there if we need help, but they really aren't. They just come over to sit and see the baby and hold him (the only person this doesn't apply to is my mum who does stuff to help me out). They all do know I am struggling, and when you are mentally going through it, it's hard to ask for help (plus its something i have always struggled with). It would be nice if family/friends would just offer sometimes to help with something around the house or doing the shopping etc. It doesn't have to be anything big but just something to help. Am I expecting too much, or should I always have to ask for help? I am also put off asking for help because I know everyone else works and has their own life.

For example, my MIL (which is another kettle of fish when it comes to boundaries) will come over with her partner and she will take the baby off me and just walk around with him the whole time. She will barely engage with us. She takes him into other rooms where i can't see him, which is hard for me at the moment because of my anxiety. She will go change him without asking me. I will tell her I need to feed him because he's hungry, and she just walks off with him and tries to put him back to sleep. She will just take him off me when I am trying to settle him as well. She also keeps kissing him even though we have told her not to.

I am just feeling all over the place and dont really have anyone to talk to about it without calling people out and having to talk to them about it (which i dont really want to do because i dont know if i am over reacting or not and I dont want to cause issues if I am).

So because of all this, i have stopped inviting most family/friends over except for my mum and best friend.

I guess my main question is, should I be the one that always has to reach out and ask for help for simple tasks, or am I right in feeling frustrated with people not helping with something when they come over or offering at least.