r/BabyBumpsandBeyondAu

Mum of an almost 2.5 year old and 20 weeks pregnant with our second.

Our daughter is an absolute angel but she's still a toddler so the house kinda gets trashed. Between work, looking after her and being pregnant I'm just losing steam on keeping the house clean. My husband contributes of course, but he mostly takes the outside chores (we have a fairly large garden) and he'll do inside things on the weekend. But it's Friday, and our house is just urgh.

Financially we can afford it, but my husband thinks we can just lock in more and get it done. I'm more just over it. I'm tired of solo parenting on the weekend while he scrubs the floor, and he always wants to do activities on the weekend as a family but then I dread coming home to a mountain of laundry I should have done instead.

My family don't live nearby and his aren't the type to help with house stuff (they'll babysit at their house but then that just gives me time to do it myself and I don't want to lol).

Are most working families hiring cleaners? Everyone on Instagram and at work seems to have one 😅😅

Sleep is non existent. I’m exhausted. That is all.

Every nap and night sleep I have to drive her because there’s no other way she’d sleep. I can’t rock her to sleep as my arms give in before she falls asleep, and just lying her down or sleeping next to her doesn’t work either, she will just be excited and playing even if I keep lying her back down and telling her time to sleep. I used to breastfeed to sleep but since I stopped breast feeding when she was almost 2, nothing but driving has made her sleep. Shes 2 years and 1 months old so this has been going on for a while, so really want to change it. Anyone know what I can do?

In the animal kingdom, many animals urinate on each other as a display of dominance. I'm just wondering if I should take my son outside, put him on the ground and urinate on him to assert dominance?

My 6 month old has discovered his penis and he’s very grabby when the nappy comes off. I can’t hold his feet, his hands AND wipe so twice now he’s put his fingers in his own poo and made a terrible mess 😱😱😱. What do I do? Are there any tips, tricks or products that could help me. It’s sooooo disgusting (although he finds my horror absolutely hilarious)

I am currently on 12 months of maternity leave and will be going back to work in mid July 2027. I know child care center’s typically have waitlists and not sure when I should start enquiring? I’d like my son to go for a few weeks before I go back to work to establish the routine & comfortability? Any advice is appreciated!

Hey all

Not sure if this is the right sub. I have some pretty toxic in laws. Have no respect for me ans have done some questionable things (putting it politely) in their time.

How does one navigate this? For our sanity we find it so much more peaceful when we dont see them. If we do this they start bringing emotions and make it a big deal. We tried so much times with them but without going into detail for our sanity it is better we keep our distance.

Seeking help lol!

My wife and I are first time expecting parents, based in Melbourne and are going through the public system. We are surprised that our hospital does not offer any ultrasound scans and we have to do them privately outside, meaning more out of pockets costs. On top of that, they were not able to give us a referral and we had to see a GP for one. I always thought pregnancy was fully covered by medicare under the public system. Is this the general expectation?

Hi all, I was wondering what canned fish you guys buy for your baby? They all seem to have added sodium (except the Brunswick no added salt sardines). The Coles tuna and salmon have about 250mg sodium per 100g. Is this okay in small amounts or would you avoid? TIA :)

My baby is 8.5 months - when did you guys stop putting babies into the shopping trolley instead of wearing them or putting them in the pram? I need more space than the basket 🤣

Also, I'm over buying things. Someone recommended using the laundry basket instead of buying a seat for when you're cooking, etc. And it has been life-changing. I don't want to buy something to strap her in. What is everyone doing to make sure the bub doesn't fall out?

Hi guys - I’m wondering which hospital people preferred for birthing at. Catchment zone isn’t an issue. I can’t go to box hill due to a bad experience, however I’m anxious about the shared rooms at Monash and the Women’s - would love to hear people’s experiences!

my baby is 4wks old, and currently exclusively breastfeeding. however, i do pump here and there if my boobs starting to get engorged. not much, just to relieve it. i’m so new to this so i have a couple of qs:

- i usually pump ONCE a day if boob is engorged (usually for 2-3days). i would put the bottle container at the back of the fridge for 72hrs, while i keep adding fresh milk to it. is it ok to keep adding to the same bottle container for 3 days (unwashed)? how would you do it otherwise?

- how much ml of breastmilk do you usually freeze in each storage bag, just curious!

thank you!!

Hello everyone!

First time mum due in November. My hospital is very much pro breastfeeding so I thought I will ask here.

Any way to breastfeed and give formula without pumping?
If i start combo feeding from day 1, can i formula feed at night and bf during the day? Or it won’t create a good supply and cause mastitis?
Or should i wait 2 weeks or however long it takes to create a supply and then introduce formula? But will i need to pump during the feeds i skip?

Thanks!

That is all

Hi, I’m only TTC right now but somehow this is already my biggest stress. I have Autism Spectrum Disorder, generally people can’t tell and I handle day to day life pretty well with a few accommodations (loop earbuds being the main thing I take everywhere). However hospitals are different, I’ve had some bad experiences in hospitals with people disregarding pain and ignoring my symptoms because I don’t present how typical people do. They are also generally quite triggering for me due to how loud the sounds can be and how bright the lights are. With all that in combination I sometimes struggle to say what I mean when doctors or nurses ask questions. Because of this I will currently not attend a hospital without someone present as a support person who can help me speak.

With post giving birth I’m especially worried about not being allowed to have a support person after the actual birth. I don’t know how I’ll cope having just pushed out a baby and then expected to care for it while also being in an unfamiliar place with bright lights and lots of noise and people I don’t know probably touching me. I’m wondering if anyone else in the public system was able to get a post birth plan that required their partner staying? If so what’d you have to do to get it approved?

Hi all

We recently started attending a playgroup at our local community centre with my 14m old & I find it quite awkward being there..

There’s a group of mums who are friendly on the surface.. they smile, say hello, etc... but they mostly stay together in their own circle, chatting w each other. No one really makes an effort to come over & have a conversation with me or get to know us.

The only person I actually talk to much is the organiser, who happens to be Canadian who moved here 10 years ago.

I’m guessing some of these mums may have known each other for years, possibly even from school, as it is a small town.... so naturally they already have established friendships..

What I find strange is that there are also other mums/dads who seem to come by themselves & they don't really seem to talk to each other either. I would have thought a playgroup would be a place where people would naturally try to meet other parents, especially when everyone has young children.. I tried talking to some of the parents who are alone & they seem happy that I talked to them?!

I’m not expecting everyone to become my BFF.. but even just someone saying, “Hey, I don’t think we’ve met before, I’m ___” would make such a difference..

Does anyone else have the same issue with playgroups? Is this normal?!

My partner and I have decided to hyphenate our baby’s surname, but we can’t agree on the order.

I’d like my surname first, while my partner wants his first based on tradition. I also don’t have a great relationship with his family, so personally I don’t love the idea of his surname taking precedence.

For context, mine is 5 letters and his is 8 letters with an apostrophe.

For those who have double-barrelled surnames, how did you decide which went first? Is there a convention, or would you just go with whichever flows better?

I am due in September, baby will be the first grandchild on both sides. My husband & I have sent out visitor requests to our immediate family & close friends - they’re very standard requests as far as we’re aware but I’ll add them below for context:

- Whooping cough vax for those who wish to meet baby before she’s had her first immunisation
- Wash hands before holding baby
- No kissing baby’s head/face/hands

My mum told me she won’t be getting the vaccine. I half expected that; she didn’t get the covid vaccine & has been funny about vaccines ever since. Internally I was upset about it but I kept that to myself. We had a very calm discussion, we did not delve into the why’s & we respected each other’s decision (despite my actual feelings about it).

That was a few weeks ago, & last week I expressed some frustration to her that I hadn’t heard back from the rest of my family yet. After our call I had a feeling she would tell my dad & 2 brothers to let me know their decision re the vax, but I think she’s gone further and actually persuaded them not to get it… Tonight one of my brother’s has told me that he has “done his research” and decided not to get it. He mentioned my parents in the message, & based on what he said I’m assuming his “research” is whatever my mum has told him & I’m also assuming my dad won’t be getting the vax either although he still is yet to tell me.

My other brother has had the vaccine recently due to an injury that needed a tetanus shot, so he is covered. My husband’s family are all getting the vaccine & have 0 qualms about it.

I guess my questions are…
1. Has anyone been through something similar & can relate?
This whole thing has given me a very lonely/isolated feeling and I’m having trouble getting past it, it’s keeping me up at night!

2. Can anyone fill me in on why you’d decide not to get the vaccine?
I really feel the need to try & understand the rationale of why avoiding the vax is worth the sacrifice of not meeting your first grandchild for 2 months, and not being there to support your daughter through postpartum and the transition to motherhood.

My mum has never tried to convince me not to get vaccinated whilst pregnant or not to vaccinate my baby…surely if she was so concerned about it she would be trying to ‘educate’/warn me?! I just cannot follow the logic.

Thank you in advance for any replies! This is my first Reddit post so idk if I’m doing it right?!

EDIT: I appreciate all of your replies, I feel comforted knowing that my thoughts around this are justified & not some hormonal delusion!

To clarify a few things:
- We aren’t budging on our boundary
- My family respect the boundary: my mum thinks it’s great that we’re doing what we feel is right in order to protect our baby

The only missing piece I’m still looking for is the understanding of what they think is so bad about the vaccine that it’s worth this sacrifice… I think this thread might be too rational to get an answer to that here? 😅

I never thought I’d be saying this lmao but can anyone recommend an “anti vax for dummies” thread that will explain to me what the actual concerns are to people who choose not to get a whooping cough booster? I’m not going to change my personal views, I just so badly want to understand what information has lead them to theirs.

& to preemptively answer one more question:
- I don’t want to ask my mum directly about her reasons because I think there’s a high likelihood that conversation will be far more damaging to our relationship than clarity is worth.
- I will ask my brother his reasons but I will do it in person when my mum isn’t around, so that conversation might be on hold for quite a while.

My parents live overseas pretty much on the other side of the world and are coming to see my first baby (their first grandchild) when he is close to 4 months old.

I told them when they are here they are not allowed to kiss him or put their mouth on him in general, and they were very passive aggressive about the fact that they are travelling across the world and won’t even be able to kiss their grandchild, that they are getting the whooping cough vaccine for him and “what are we even getting the vaccine for”. I told them whooping cough is not the only thing he can catch, and they will be travelling through international airports so that increases the risk in general of them giving him any kind of bug. I also don’t know if they have HSV (herpes simplex), I’m not sure if that’s something that would be very obvious to know.

I said they could maybe kiss his feet or the back of his head but even then I don’t see why they need to be putting their mouth on my baby. They haven’t spoken to me since.

Am I unreasonable?

I want to get my baby vaccinated, but my partner is against it. I don’t know where to go from here. Any advice appreciated.

Trying to avoid going behind their back