u/undergroundladybird

I don’t know if it’s just me or if this is a common experience, but maternity leave has made me feel so much more isolated than I expected.

I feel privileged to spend so much time with my baby and I do cherish this time, but at the same time I feel like I’m in a strange limbo and it makes me sad.

I’m in a mother’s group and we are all friendly, but I haven’t managed to make a deeper friendship connection with anyone, which is what I was initially hoping for (at least one person).

I try to keep busy and we leave the house every day, but I’m starting to look forward to working part time just to break up the routine a bit. Just as I was starting to come around to the idea of retuning to work in a couple of months, my 2 close work friends (that made the place enjoyable) have now left. I can’t envision going back to work without my friends there. The job doesn’t excite me, it’s just a job. But I liked working there with them.

On top of that, my closest (non work) friend has moved out of state.

Has anyone been in a similar position? Do you have any advice or suggestions to help with my mindset for the next couple of months. I’m in a mental funk.

RANT incoming

I think I’m being spoilt and I need a reality check please.

I’m a first time mum to a 6 month old. I’m the primary carer and on maternity leave.

I’ve been thinking about it for a week and turns out I’m still annoyed that my husband didn’t get me a Mother’s Day gift.

He came home from work the Friday before Mother’s Day with flowers (not even on Mother’s Day?) and then also told me that he didn’t get me a gift and that he felt awkward about it. I was a bit shocked but didn’t want to ruin the weekend I guess so I shrugged it off and said it was okay.

He said that Mother’s Day gifts are typically given to the mum from the kids, and because we have a 6mo baby, he didn’t get anything. We also just committed to buying a house so he used that as a reason also.

I don’t know though, I wasn’t expecting anything expensive, but was thinking maybe a pair of slippers or a new mug or candle or something.

He also left it to the last minute to plan something for Mother’s Day. I told him weeks in advance that I would like to go out for brunch somewhere and he booked a shitty cafe like 2 days before because the nice cafes were booked out. We did go out for a picnic in the arvo which was nice (my idea).

I had kind of let it go, but last night he went out to the pub and was out till late at night and it brought out all this resentment in me. Not only can he freely go out with his mates to the pub while I care for the baby, but he’s happy to spend money on beers etc and not worry about getting me a small Mother’s Day gift for my first Mother’s Day.

I’m thinking about bringing up with him that I’m upset, but if I ever raise an issue like this he ends up sulking for days on end and it’s just awkward between us until he gets over it. I don’t know if I can be bothered dealing with him feeling sorry for himself.

Should I bring it up? Is this resentment normal, or am I being spoilt?