u/Individual_Scheme702

I have been looking all over for websites with more than the first two episodes, i am a huge fan of 'Interview with the vampire' and i cant find 'The vampire Lestat'

A while back i (14m) used to self harm and then my dad found out i have another post on that but i never really hated myself. Sure i wasnt fond of life but i did not find myself to be the problem, but now im starting to feel like i am. Sometimes i feel like i cant do anything right, the smallest mistakes i do feels like a crime. Sometimes at night my mind goes to places involving ending it. i feel worthless and that everyone is better off without me. My best friend (14f) has had these same problems for years going so far as actually trying to commit on multiple occasions, but i feel like its different for her i feel like she acctually deserves help but i dont. i found everything about me ugly, annoying and bad and i have no idea what to do.

So i recently got spiderman2 and i played a while then i tried with no swing assist and i felt a difference but it was not hard dude, its okay if you think it is i just feel like everyone is overexagerating

I don't hate her or anything its not even technically about her its about her assistant. So i (14m) have self harmed before and i live in sweden so i go to this thing called BUP it stands for Barn och ungdomspsykiatrin, in english its child and adolescent psychiatry. I went there because of my ADHD meds follow up and that went well but near the end my psychologist person (Im not really sure what she is) Told me to go with her assistant to weigh me check my height and stuff and this is usual so i do and it goes well but he tells me to sit down and asks me if i have ever had any suicidal thoughts which i have had previously but not so much anymore (btw why do they expect us to tell the truth they have no way to proove what were saying is correct) So i lie because i dont think about anymore so i tell him ive never thought about it and then he asks me about self harm and there i decided to tell the truth so i ask him "Will you tell my dad" The parent that was with me, and then he says no i promise atleast not today and i trust him so i tell him that i was doing that and he asked if i had scars so i showed him them then we go back to the psychology woman who had been talking with my dad. The assisstant takes her out of the room and talks they both enter back in and she says the second she comes in "So (my name) i understand that you have self harmed" IN FRONT OF MY DAD. He literally told me he wouldnt tell my dad and then she goes and does it instantly. so we have an uncomfatable convo with my dad about it then we leave. The reason i didnt want him to know was because all three of my older sisters have done it previously and i didnt want him to worry even more.

Its fine tho he's a great dad.