Hi guys,
I' struggling a lot with AP lang. For the 3 essays I feel like my writing is too repetitive and I don't know how to improve it. I've tried everything. I've written a argument essay for a practice. Could someone tell me what they would grade it. I've tried online resources and gotten a 3, 5 and a 6 and I don't know what to believe. The prompt is - In a 2015 commencement address at Middlebury College, poet Julia Alvarez advised graduates: “In order to be what we long to be, we have to belong. So, community is vital. You belong in a community where you can be what you long to be, a place that keeps reminding you that you have a soul.”Write an essay that argues your position on the extent to which Alvarez’s claim about community is valid.
Develop a clear thesis: Take a firm stance on whether community is essential for personal growth and authenticity, as Alvarez suggests. Support with evidence: Use specific examples from literature, history, or personal experience to illustrate your position. Analyze the evidence: Explain clearly how your examples support your thesis and the overall argument. Maintain clear communication: Ensure your essay is well-organized and uses proper grammar and punctuation. I wrote: Alvarez's claim is valid as communities are a necessity to develop our personal identities by providing support, exposure to diverse perspectives and unique oppurtunities.
A community isn't just a group of people. It is a support system -- people in a community will help you out anytime for anything. I have been fortunate to grow up in a large community with many people ready to provide hands as well as advice. When I was beginning my photography journey, I had very basic knowledge about it as a whole but the people around me, my community, gave me the necessary tips and lessons to succeed. In a short amount of time I learned framing, editing and setting up the camera. Now, Photography is a big part of who I am. I've learned to be confident , creative and organized. The support given by my community helped develop my photographer identity.
Communities are created of people from different backgrounds and ideas. In the web series "The Summer I turned pretty", Belly and her family spends their summers at their mom's best friend, Susannah's summer home. There Belly meets new people in the community, and eventually becomes friends. Being with people who grew up in different situations (like Cameron, whose mother worked in the club) pushed her to understand people outside her own environment and mature emotionally. As a result she became more outgoing, confident and better at handling conflicts, showing how community can shape personal identity.
A community doesn't just have to be the people you live around, rather it can be the different places you meet -- for example, a school or a temple. When you connect with others in a community you are given the chance for unique opportunities. My family and I frequently visit a temple in our locality. Because I was a part of that community, I along with others kids were given the oppurtunity to be part of a volunteering group. Aside from regular volunteering at the temple, I was able to gain experience working at a health camp. I assisted patients as well as doctors that were part of the event. Not only did I get to meet new people, but I also learned about medical careers. Festivals, a large part of Indian communities, are also organized and being able to help plan and set up for it gave me exposure to management as well as communication. As I became a section leader for a group of volunteers, I learned the importance of leadership which has made me responsible and confident in group settings. This shows how participating in a community doesn't just provide experiences, but actively shapes skills and personal identity through responsibility, communication and leadership.
Though, not all people may be fortunate enough to be around a supportive and familial community. But that doesn't stop them from growing personally. Living in solitude can still boost identity development through internal reflection and motivation. Still, it cannot replace the impact a community would leave.
Thank you!