u/Inefficient_Spoon

I plan to buy certain things almost necessary for self harm. HOWEVER, I don't want to come home to a very concerned mother asking why there's a box full of [insert item] at the front door and why it's there. Going in person isn't an option either since I've never really gone out without a specific reason and that would be a change in behavior that might be suspicious. How can I get "supplies" without having to pretty much out myself?

My mother just decided that we're all going to eat out and then "take a walk", whatever that means, and I don't want to go because if I do I'm going to have to sit around pretending I'm happy while I feel progressively worse, but if I try not to go or stop pretending I'm happy in any way, I just know that I'll have to sit through her ranting about how I'm a terrible person and asking me what the fuck my problem is that I can't fulfill "basic human decency" while I'm thinking, if you're that sick of me, just drive to a bridge and I'll take care of both of our problems while trying not to cry too much because that might make her angrier holy fuck. I don't want to live like this anymore even if the rest of my life is objectively good/great