I’m in love with a YouTuber 🫣
Okay so I know what you’re thinking “oh here this crazy parasocial bitch goes” but before yall get the pitchforks and flames out LET ME EXPLAIN…I mean these are confessions after all. So, about a year ago I got out if an abusive relationship ((this is the part when y’all say awwwww poor you or whatever)) it was horrible and it left me with low self esteem and a shit ton to unpack. During this HELL of a relationship I would watch this YouTuber, for the purpose of this I’m not going to share his name because if this where to EVER get to him I would simple just have to perish. But I would watch his content and it would be so normal, his content is funny and smart and informative and he just seemed like a good guy, which for me, felt like an impossibly. It felt nice knowing that there are nice guys out there. But then…as I was watching one of his video….it hit me…OOOOHHHHH IT HIT ME like that bus that hit Regina George. It was the mustache GOTTA BE, like there gotta be some pheromones in that shit. My heart was racing and I screamed and turned off my tv. “NO” I thought “I physically and mentally do not have time for this!” but, I did indeed, had time for it. I watched podcast that he was on and his videos and realized he just seemed like a sweet guy. He has a Letterboxd because he loves movies just like me and as SOON as I figure out we have the same favorite movie I was like “ABORT ABORT I WILL FALL IN LOVE AND I DONT WANNA FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONEEEEE I DOOOONNNTTT KNOOWWWWWWWWWW.” And I unfollowed him off of everything like HELP DO I HAVE TO BE THIS DRAMATIC!! ((I followed him back on everything so like…..))
So here I am having this crush on this YouTuber that I have no idea if I’ll ever meet. I’ve been wanting to start a twitch stream since I’ve been laid off from my job as a teacher. Like the economy so bad right now you might as well follow your dreams. So for that reason, I don’t ever wanna say never. But it’s not like a creepy thing where I’m trying to figure out his personal life or stalking like HELL no. But I do have this crush and I’m just like “whelp…now what?!!”
So yeah that’s my confession now y’all can bring out your pitchforks and flames and KILL ME. 🤪