back in october i became friends with this girl at school who had joined my band (we’re both 13F) and ive actually been obsessed with her ever since. she’s so pretty it drives me mad. sometimes she vents to me about how much she hates her appearance and i feel like just confessing right there on the spot just so she know how gorgeous she is. and she’s so cool; great music taste and fashion sense. and she’s funny and so nice to me and i love her smile and her eyes and her hair and her soft hands and skin. it’s even more unbearable cuz we’re very close and always holding hands and hugging and acting ‘gay’ and in love with eachother as a joke. i thought she liked my back in the beginning of 26 (i also knew she was bi, but she apparently didn’t know i was les even though i made it very obvious lol) but then she got a bf is february (who treats her horribly btw). i dont have a chance with her. im ugly and lame. she’s pretty and cool. i’m even a bit disgusted by myself. imagine what she’d think if she knew. i’ve never had a crush like this before. i even have lewd thoughts about her sometimes and i have to stop myself. i’m such a weirdo loser
edit: also forgot to mention that i don’t realistically i wouldn’t date her if given the chance. datings scary and i don’t like it especially if it’s with a friend. i don’t want to ruin our friendship. but i still want her so bad. idk man