Struggling with missing them even though a lot of hurt happened.
It’s been a few months now, we’ve had some moments of no contact and some moments of seeing each other in groups and also alone. I’m quite struggling at the moment because whilst initiating the break up and knowing it needed to happen as we both had things that needed work personally and in the relationship, we were arguing way too much and not finding the right ways to resolve conflict, I know it needed to happen and felt like I was betrayed in some ways and that I was quite misunderstood , so even with all these negative feelings around it still missing this person and wanting them in my life and having emotional big feelings.
I don’t know how to manage feelings of grieving the relationship, missing him, wanting to hang out, processing all the hurt, processing the relationship. It’s all just so confusing and I don’t know what to do. Any advice please? I’ve never had a situation like this in the past when my relationships have ended, it’s usually been a clean break of wanting nothing to do with them or we’ve remained friends.
My feelings this time are so all over the place and it’s messing with my headspace.
I know I need to just keep busy, avoid contact where possible etc etc but all that has been tried , the classic break up advice has been tested. What do you do about having feelings for someone you shouldn’t because of how much hurt they’ve caused you before but you can’t stop? I’ve tried to push my feelings and thoughts to the side but it keeps coming back, what do I do.