The Connection I'm Looking for Doesn't Exist
As with all dreams I suppose one eventually has to face the factvthat they are impossible.
I am dating my second gf right now and she is amazing. Not perfect but kind smart and beautiful she almost everything I could have asked. But I am starting to see that she will never actually understand me. Even if I had the words to convey how I really feel about the world, my struggles, who I actually am; I don't think anyone would understand or care enough to listen.
Perhaps everyone feels true and total existential terror, the mix of fear of pride warring with fear of failure or stares at the tiny detail in leaves, into the depths of space, at the endless horizon marveling at thing impossible to describe.
Perhaps we are all alone unable to truly express ourselves to others, each of us oceans sitting next to each other yet unaware. Perhaps a little happiness will have to be enough