Take me back to February 5
I have been spiraling for days over this and I can't tell it to the person involved because they ended things with me 3 weeks ago. He's also a Benildean so I have no business posting this here other than the hope he'd see it.
Last February 5, 2026 it was my TOR picture taking day.
It was busy and hectic, so many things going on.
He then showed up and surprised me with a chicken meal from Lawson, which he pre-chopped to make it easier for me to eat.
I was looking through my pictures from that day and I realized, I don't have a picture of that memory. I am spiraling because to me, it feels as though I did not value what he did. I am spiraling because what if I did not appreciate the effort he put in showing up, in pre-chopping the Lawson chicken, in being there for me? I looked back at our chat after that day and I was able to thank him for loving me at the very least.
We had lapses in the relationship, but I was so critical of everything that I couldn't see all the ways he loved me, all the effort he put in making me feel loved. Did I even make him feel he was loved enough? That he was appreciated enough?
Truly, we need to take a step back to see things clearly.
I love that guy so much and I miss him. I hope he's doing well.