AITA For Telling My Grandmother That She’s The Reason She Has To Drive Me To Work
I (20F) live with my grandparents and mom. I work 30h/wk on top of being a college student.
I pay for my own housing, tuition, groceries and transportation during the semester. I don’t have a car or license, so I ask my family for rides to work during the summer.
THE REASON I don’t have a license: my grandmother (GM) doesn’t think I’m old enough. I have a permit, took drivers ed in high school and was cleared to take the test, but GM doesn’t believe I know how to drive because “she’s never seen it.” She only lets me drive in parking lots and I’m well past that point.
My mom doesn’t have a license because she has a bunch of tickets that GM won’t let her pay off. And yes, I say “let” because GM takes my mom’s entire paycheck every week for “household expenses.” My mom is also almost never allowed to leave the house unless it’s for work or the grocery store. GM tries to apply those rules to me too, but I always just laugh and have my friends/boyfriend/uber come get me.
GM loves that my mom and I can’t drive. She refuses to admit it, but she loves the control. She gets my mom to do whatever she wants because she always says “well I drive you everywhere, don’t I?” This is amplified by the fact that my mom has cancer and has to be driven to doctors appointments regularly.
Anyway, today is my day off from work. I’m exhausted. I work a stressful job dealing with small children and I just moved back from school a few days ago. I have to get up at 5 tomorrow to take a train to work. GM and my mom left this morning and GM told me to mow the lawn while she’s gone. I told her that I want to relax and she always does this when I have a day off. She said I should do it because she “never asks for anything from me.” I told her that any time she has a project she pawns it off on me (repair work, yard work, assembling furniture, regular chores, etc) and she told me I should be grateful that she drives me “everywhere.” MIND YOU I always ask literally everyone I know to drive me somewhere before asking her. I pretty much only ask her to pick me up from the train station after I get out of work (my grandfather is the one who drops me off in the morning, but he’s usually asleep by the time I get home) aside from occasionally asking her to pick me up from school when my mom is upset that I haven’t visited home in a while.
I got mad when she was berating me and throwing in my face that she drives me “everywhere” and I told her that she wouldn’t have to if she would just let me take my road test. Now she’s mad at me for “disrespecting” her. My mom is mad at me for arguing GM, and I still have to mow the lawn or else they threaten to not take me to work in the morning.
Also her and my grandfather are only driving me for the next week, as my boyfriend is moving back from school and offered to take me when he gets back.
So AITA for telling her it’s her own fault that she has to drive me to work sometimes if she doesn’t want me to have a car?
Edit: For everyone saying to just go to the test myself, in my state you have to be accompanied by someone over 21 with a license willing to let you drive their car.
Edit 2: I’m from New York. This law exists in multiple states, I double checked. Please stop making me think I’m crazy, this is a genuine law, New York is just weird.
Edit 3: link to the dmv website since y’all keep fighting me on this.
“No matter what age you are, if you hold a learner permit, you may not drive unless accompanied by a supervising driver age 21 or older who has a valid license to operate the vehicle you are driving.” —nys dmv
https://dmv.ny.gov/driver-license/learner-permit-restrictions
Edit 4: ok y’all thank you for all of the useful advice!! I have to go mow the lawn now. I won’t be replying for a while. To everyone still telling me to “just do it” or “I don’t believe you [about the 21 law]” I won’t be replying to you guys anymore. I gave you 3 edits, one stand alone comment and a million replies explaining why I can’t just do it myself
Edit 5: yes there’s ways around the law if I’m not the one who drives the car to the road test but I also want to practice before I take the test since I haven’t driven since high school. I need to have someone over 21 in the car any time I AM THE ONE DRIVING. Yes I can have someone under 21 technically drive me there but if I want to drive the car they have to be over 21