u/Inevitable_Baker8733

Hi all,

This might not be what you expect, but the person I'm referring to is me, the manager. There's been times at work where I've had to give someone some correction or put my foot down. However, I tend to feel a bit awkward approaching these members of staff afterwards, even about non related/other work matters. I'm aware they're probably feeling a bit sore, which in turns makes me feel a bit sore and want to avoid them because it's like I'm now in their bad books and what would make them less sore is less interaction with me. I recognise this is an insecurity of mine and I should have the right to approach my staff about anything at any time, but I'm not sure how to overcome this feeling. I'm certain it's stemming from my less than stellar upbringing.

Has anyone else experienced this, or have any recommendations on handling it? Thank you!

I often get called rude and to watch what I say when I try to express frustration at a situation that would make any manager genuinely annoyed. In my opinion that feels like gaslighting me and does nothing to remedy the problem that made me irritated. This makes me even more frustrated, which of course I can't express. I feel like I'm just expected to be nice all the time and can't express concerns, frustrations or anger, even when they're warranted.

I've reflected on the emails and times others have called me rude or too blunt and I just feel like they are misinterpreting being direct and bold as rude.

How you experienced this, and what do you do about it? How do you give people a stern email, or a bollocking, and still come out the other end considered professional?