21F and 21M friendship turned complicated
(21F) I became close with a schoolmate (21M) after he approached me first on Instagram. He is a very introverted and private person, while I’m much more extroverted, but somehow we connected really well and started talking almost every day.
Over time we became very important in each other’s lives. We shared personal things, supported each other emotionally, and got used to talking regularly. Because of how close we became, I started developing feelings for him, although neither of us officially confessed anything serious at first.
Sometimes I would overthink small things, especially when I felt he was giving more attention to other people. He had a female friend from school he talked to occasionally, and although it was completely normal, I still felt insecure at times. Whenever he became distant or stopped talking as much, I would talk to his best friend more, mainly about him and my confusion regarding the situation. Nothing romantic ever happened there.
Recently our communication changed a lot because both of us became busy in different fields of study (engineering and medicine). He slowly became less available, and I started feeling hurt and confused by the distance. At one point I blocked him out of frustration, but later we started talking again.
One thing that always confused me was that whenever misunderstandings happened between us, he would usually apologize quickly and try to make things better, even for small issues. There was never anything abusive or inappropriate between us, but sometimes his behavior felt more emotionally intense than simple friendship, which made it harder for me to understand where I stood.
Eventually I told him honestly that the distance was affecting me emotionally because he had become a very important person in my life. He then said he sees me as a friend, but also said that I’m still someone very special to him.
Part of my confusion comes from the fact that his words and actions sometimes feel different from each other. I also know he is very focused on his future, career, and family expectations, so I genuinely cannot tell whether he only sees me as a friend or whether he avoids deeper feelings for practical reasons.
Right now I’m trying to understand how to deal with this situation in a healthy way and stop overthinking everything while still valuing the connection we had.
TL;DR: I became very close to a male friend and developed feelings for him over time. Recently he became distant and later said he sees me as a friend, although his actions sometimes felt more emotionally meaningful than that. I’m now struggling to understand the situation and move forward in a healthy way.