I Feel Alone
My wife gave me the best thing that ever happened to me; my kids.
We've been together for about 15 years and have had a rollercoaster of a life, and have grown stronger through the ups and downs, which is one of the reasons I love her so much.
One thing that's always been up and down is our sex life. When we decided to have kids after 11 years together, it picked back up, and then when she got pregnant it took a dive. I understood this, so I didn't really push it regardless of how lonely I felt during that time. After she had my daughter, it didn't pick up for months, and did around the same time we decided to have another.
She told me she wanted more sex during pregnancy but thought I was turned off by her. I explained that wasn't the case at all, and we hoped to be more intimate this time around.
Well, that's definitely not happening regardless of advances. She said she's understandably tired. During the last 3 months, we've been intimate once, and she made the move. Any time I try though, she's tired.
I work a full time job, work from home when I can so I can watch my toddler and she can rest. I cook and clean and often as possible to take it off her plate, I brought home flowers for her, did all the grocery shopping and brought along our kid, I do as much as I can unless I have to go in for work, and I always try to get home as fast as I can so I can be there to support her.
I got home from work today before our toddler got up from nap so she didn't need to solo parent all day. I get our daughter up from nap, she walks in and sees me and just says "I'm going to go get a shower" and walks away. Afterwards, she comes up and gives me a hug and we just go about parenting.
I am stuck in an in between space of feeling selfish because I want to feel desired, and wanting to be there for the person I love. I'm fully aware that pregnancy is difficult, and she's going through a lot and I'm not trying to convey that is isn't. Becoming a parent has been the best thing that's ever happened to me, but it just sucks that I now just feel more romantically alone than I ever had, and I don't feel confident it will get better since it's been years at this point.
There was really no point in writing this, comments are always people just saying it's probably the man's fault in most of these posts anyways. I'm just tired and tired of feeling alone. I'm solo parenting too a lot, but I still want to feel connected to my life partner.