Hi all! Getting married this September, and trying to figure out the dinner toast situation and it’s making me feel really avoidant and anxious
My fiance and I live in a city with a lot of great friends and family, but I’m from another state and while I love my life here, I want to have someone give a toast that knows me from some different walks of life (pre my life now). I have a close friend here who introduced us and has known my fiance for decades but she was really hard on us and unsupportive of our relationship the first year, and has since totally changed her tune but it doesn’t feel right to me to ask her to do it because I still feel hurt by that phase in our friendship. Also, I feel like again I want to know that I’m being represented by someone who knows me before I moved here.
I could ask my childhood best friend, but we are less close, still love each other like sisters but just in a phase of our lives where we are talking less and she’s never met my fiance because she lives 16 hours from us. I can ask one of my two good college friends but neither of them know my partner more than seeing each other once at an event over the years since none of them live near us.
I have another close college friend who we see more often because they live a state away and he is friends with both me and my fiancé at this point that I’m thinking about asking him because he’s known me for 15 years and now has a good relationship with both of us, but I think it’s going to hurt my other friends feelings and I’m struggling with that.
Wedding planning I’m realizing has so many external expectations that I’m struggling to fully grapple with. Thanks for listening!