This is basically just a rant but i NEED to talk about this with someone and my friends just do not get it.
I met this guy on one of those weird apps you download after seeing an ad on tiktok or somewhere else, just for fun, not a dating app necessarily. I met him about three years ago, I knew we had some sort of a connection within a few weeks of speaking with him, the only issue is he lives hours away from me and neither of us really like long distance relationships, which is why we never really spoke of our feelings for one another. But I know he’s liked me for a while because he’s talked to my brother about it and i’ve liked him for a long time.. but it’s one of those awkward things where we both know but neither of us can act on it because we don’t want to lose the friendship we have if long distance doesn’t work out.
A while back he unadded me because he started dating this new girl and recently added me back after they had broken up, and we’ve been talking like normal, and this is a reoccurring event for the both of us, we will get into new relationships, be respectful of our partner and unadd the other and then when things go south with them we add eachother back and act like nothing had happened. And if anything I feel like we’re hurting eachother more and more every time this cycle repeats. And I so badly just want to cut him off completely because I know nothing will come out of this mutual pining. But I genuinely feel like this man is my soulmate, I don’t think I’ll find anyone else like him and I genuinely don’t think I can just settle. When I love, I love HARD and if I don’t feel that connection then i’m just so unhappy with who I am with. I just don’t know what to do anymore because before I was fine just being friends but now, we’re getting older, life is more serious, and my dream is to settle and start my path to a potential family one day and I just feel like i’ll never get that, especially when we’re both too scared of distance to be with one another.