How do I [30F] handle the fact that my boyfriend [30M] thinks I had an affair with our manager [39M]?
My boyfriend and I work at the same company and department but in different sections. I joined the company a few years before him and started going out with him a couple of months after he joined. Our manager has worked with our company a year longer than my boyfriend.
I work closely with our manager at times I act like his PA. I'm one of the few women (I work in a predominantly male field) in my department and the only person from my department that is friendly with our manager.
When our manager (who has never worked with ladies before) joined the company he got really close with the man who held my position before me. When that man left I was promoted to his position. when I first started working with him he outrightly told me how uncomfortable he was about working with a lady and would occasionally call and complain to my predecessor. Part of the reason for his uncomfortabilty was because he was attracted to me. My predecessor also had a huge crush on me and when he was around had acted like a barrier between my manager and I and even directed my managers attention towards a another coworker who worked in a different department.
A few months after my predecessor had left he popped up in town for a bit and my manager decided to give him a little farewell because we never had one when he left. I was invited along with another lady friend who we all were friends with. she never showed up so it ended up being the 3 of us. the night went well but after dropping off my predecessor my manager who was kinda drunk expressed his interest in me. I turned him down because I didn't see him that way and he was married. We settled on just being friends and I turned into a listening ear. He still wanted more than that but eventually being friends became a default.
the problem is that there were rumors at work that I was having an affair with him because of how familiar I was with him the fact that he obviously had a crush on me and because I would sometimes get special treatment. And these rumors started even before he approached me because his crush on me was very obvious.
When my boyfriend started to show interest in me multiple people warned him to stay away from me because I was "the boss' girl" he got to know me and we started dating. but every now and then people try and dissuade him from being with me because of my manager and because other than my manager I've been accused of dating multiple guys at work who I have been comfortable with. I joined the company through a program and got close to a lot of the guys on the program, there were more men than women and we all got really close like a family. it peaks his insecurities and taking my word for it is not always enough.
I'd also like to point out that my boyfriend is one of our managers favorite employees and he's in support of our relationship.
TLDR: People at my work place started a rumour that I was dating my manager and it's affecting my relationship