Boyfriend wants to “put a pin in it” and I have no idea what to do in this situation
Long time Reddit lurker but first time poster. Please forgive my formatting sins. So I [27F] am currently in a 3 year relationship with my boyfriend [29M] who recently dropped the bomb that he wants to “put a pin” in the relationship.
Background: We met at his previous job and it was sparks from day one. We connected in so many ways and matched on so many things the first time we met. A lot of the obstacles that take couples years to hash out we literally had figured out from the first time talking. For example we both openly identify as bisexual and neither of us want kids. We align intellectually, spiritually, in our values and so on.
We’ve since moved in together, into our own beautiful little apartment in his home town. We get along really well with each other’s families, boyfriend’s dad has even called me his daughter (in-law). We go on holidays together and I treat his cat [5M] like my own… man do I love that cat. We have so much love and respect for one another. We have arguments now and then but it’s always us against the problem. We’ve spoken in depth about getting married one day and what our future life would look like together. As per his request I have even sent him an engagement ring ideas and styles that I like.
The problem: I work overseas 6 months out of the year and take the other 6 months off at home. I am incredibly lucky that I am able to do this but part of it is also because my job is so physically and mentally demanding. Working around 16 hours a day for the majority of those 6 months. When I’m home I spend some time seeing family and friends but most of it is spent with my boyfriend. I’ll probably only be in this job for another 5 years. I am away at work now and recently my boyfriend dropped the bomb that he doesn’t want to do long distance anymore and he can’t wait the 5 years. The main reason being that I am working on the long term big life steps but my boyfriend is struggling missing out on the day to day life building. He wants the everyday physical relationship in the life he is building. The past while he’s been working on building up the life he wants for himself after a big career change.
Boyfriend has been going to therapy and has come to the realisation that he doesn’t want to do the long distance anymore. He and I don’t want me to give up my career but he also doesn’t want to break up. After the two of us fell short of any other option his therapist recommend we put a pin in the relationship. I have no idea what this means. He wants to be there when I’m back home but he can’t be there when I’m gone. We briefly discussed an open relationship but turned it down. I’m away for another 4 months, feeling pretty devastated and like I’m losing the love of my life. What should I do in this situation?
TLDR: boyfriend doesn’t want to do long distance anymore. We agree that I shouldn’t give up my career which keeps me gone for 6 months of the year but we don’t want to break up either. His therapist suggested we put a pin in the relationship. No idea what this means or what to do. Any advice is greatly appreciated.