u/Inevitable_Sea_8401

Question. My family member who is quite advanced in age (90) and with other conditions (Parkinson’s and Rheumatoid Arthritis) just got diagnosed with CLL. Her PCP, rather then referring her to an oncologist is “taking charge” and is going to speak to the oncologist and then come up with a plan.
Being that her case is fairly complicated wouldn’t it make sense for her to see an oncologist directly? I understand that a PCP might need to be involved for coordinating things but it seems strange to me that she wouldn’t just be referred to an oncologist. I can’t even get skin cream without a referral to a dermatologist. Am I being paranoid? Her health care has always seemed sub par as it is.

This is mystifying to me. I have been expected to constantly drive halfway across the country for Christmas and summer visits to the state most of my family is in. I understand why that’s more convenient but it has literally been almost 20 years of this. I’m tired. I’ve hinted around a few times that it would be nice not to have to drive 10 hours each way twice a year, and pointed out the major city I live in has lots to do. Nothing.

I lost it when a friend that I have gone to visit several times over the decades basically refused to take a four hour bus ride to see me for a weekend because “children” ( in high school) and a dependent older mother (who was amazingly fine when she went to Central America for two weeks with her husband and kids). I’m over it. I have things going on in my life, a large pet to care for and responsibilities. Can people be that emotionally clumsy? I’d feel badly if I expected other people to do all the travel all the time. Sigh. I feel like I just woke up to the fact that I am a total sucker.