Has anyone found anything positive comes out of straight confrontation?
Late last year my hoarder parent had a fall at home and got trapped in a collapsing pile of magazines, fortunately found by a neighbour with spare keys who'd invited them for dinner and got worried when they didn't show, a stay in hospital ended up in transfer to a care home for probably the rest of their life.
The house is full and it's not small house, I'm not going to trouble you with the pictures, but they had to get enough stuff out of the house to get a path through to get said parent out. I've been spending half my free time since the incident trying to get some clear space so we can begin meaningfully clearing while keeping hold of anything actually of interest. It's coming up to a year now and my patience is fairly thin.
That's the background.
This morning I got a call complaining about some item or other being missing and being thrown away into a care home as an easy option, and I absolutely let rip about the consequences of their own actions and driving everyone away by preferring to have the stuff over the family relationships.
Which comes back to the original question, the hoarder has been forcibly separated from the hoard. I have now given them an earful about expecting anything other than going to a care home based on their prior behaviour, consequences of their own actions, failing to maintain the house in a safe condition, preferring their stuff over a relationship with me etc etc. Has anyone found any good can come of this or can I just expect more resentment?
Edit: Thank you all for your comments, I suspect as many of you said it will just wash over and be forgotten. There was a lot of crying but there always is when I say the "H" word directly.