[INTJ] Chose not to intervene when my partner’s ex reached out. Rational or just detached?
My partner is in another country. His ex recently came back to the same city and started reaching out to him, asking for things that seem unnecessary. He told me about it and wanted me to do something, but I chose not to.
My reasoning: I want to observe what she does when nobody stops her. People reveal their true character through autonomous decisions, not through being blocked or restricted. If I intervene now, I lose that signal.
I’m also aware that if things escalate between them, there’s ultimately nothing I can do to prevent it. The only thing within my control is how I respond to information once I have it. So I’d rather have accurate information than a false sense of security from having “done something.”
A friend told me this sounds pessimistic. I don’t experience it that way. To me it feels like calibrated acceptance of what’s actually within my control.
I’m an INTJ and my partner is ENFP. I’m curious whether different mbti types approach this kind of situation differently. Whats your mbti, would you intervene? If so, what’s the belief underneath that decision? I’m interested in the reasoning behind people’s responses.