Hello Everyone,
I wanted to see if I ATAH for telling my wife she is 100% wrong? For context she is mad because she said I hugged my ex when she picked up my kid (17 year old) (my ex and I split custody). My wife said she saw it through the ring doorbell, but I know for a fact I did not do what I was accused of. I was very staunch in my response and denied it because I know it I didn't do anything wrong. I asked my kid if the hug happened and my ex and both asked me what the heck, I was talking about.
I said some things I was not proud of to my wife, and she said I was gas lighting her, but I feel like I was gaslighted by this whole situation. I told my wife there was multiple people who witnessed everything and that we can close the loop by having a simple talk about it and she declined. I feel horrible because I said she was crazy and insane, but I didn't mean she was, rather how she was acting in the moment.
I think that having closure would help her, but she is resistant to it, and I just do not know what to do. I told her yesterday I know I was not wrong and she can either believe me or I will be done with her because I did not want to be with someone who acted this way (my ex whom I had my kid with was the same way) and I will not be in a similar relationship since it was so toxic. I do not know if she thinks I told my ex and kid to vouch for me and maybe that's what she is resistant to it but man I would think having a way to close the loop and prove my innocence would be welcomed but I guess not.
I guess I am looking for advice and to vent a little. I already said I apologize for getting emotional and saying what I said, I also admitted that I should have been able to talk to her about it in a calmer way and I was until she started accusing me. I have very strong morals and ethics about cheating since it happened to me and my wife and it disgusts me, she would think of me like that when I have been nothing but consistent with my views, behaviors, and mannerisms.
If I can get guidance or help I would appreciate it.
Edit: People have asked about the video for ring. We had the free plan where it kept the video recordings and when the free part ran out now it just notifies and either of us can watch through the live feed part. It unfortunately does not keep the video.
Edit 2: My kid is 17, they are not young and thus can be manipulated. Also My ex has no incentive to lie, we are adults and co-parent successfully.