Do not date theyfabs
Context: early 20s poon, was broken up with ~6 months ago, so, lonely and struggling with irl communication since no friends from school/uni/job. Pronouns are like that because thats part of my questionable morals. Longpost
Decided to go to an event from a local lgbt org, it goes well and is fun, decided to keep coming to future events since it satisfies my craving for connection enough
One day they hold a speed dating event
>”ohshit its my chance” especially since i convinced myself no one wants a dickless manlet and people there may be more tolerant to that and/or at least likely to be bisexual
It goes fun as usual, then theres this girl that has been paying extra attention to me since the beginning of the event. We talk for a bit and they admit im their type and they like me, so they ask if i would like to go for a walk
>damn i still got it
Talk a bit, smoke a bit, im starting to find them cute back. We hold hands eventually
-“oh btw i use they/them pronouns” (keeps referring to xerself as a woman and keeps teaching me on differences between men and women. Which i guess is a rare based moment since i told them im trans)
>shrug ok whatever
We went to a local bar and i paid for their drinks, felt guilty for being desperate enough to blow money like that on the first “date”. They knew the bartender guy and during the chat i get an idea of what kind of person they are but dismiss it as “just extraverted”
We kept going out for 1,5 months or so, got to know each other more, found out we have some shared interests, i start liking them more, pay for dinners, go to quiet places to chat; eventually i find out theyre a local at pretty much the majority of art/indie group movement in my city, so they take me to related events a few times
They seem too familiar with the guys there, but i dismiss it as me being easily jealous and feeding into the “no guy friends” controlling bf stereotype
Practically full on dating by now, though we never made it official; they ask me about what kinda relationship would i be ok/not ok with
-“whatever is comfortable for me and the other person really”
-“oh nice. For me i used to be in a polycule and it sucked so i wouldnt do that again lol. Open relationships are meh as well”
>okay this might be something good
They tell me about their exes, past experiences, the usual backstory stuff. I tell them about my situation as well and they seem sympathetic. They tell me that so far i seem “pretty reasonable and w/o red flags”
>yeah i just dont gotta show them im a little coocoo
Fast forward another month, we keep texting almost each day, one evening they tell me theyve moved out (they were living with their grandma)
-“oh thats great! When and where?”
-“to a (guy) friend of a friend”
>lolwut
Dismissed that as being easily jealous again, congratulate them but ask abt the living conditions
-“we have 1 room”
1 room = 1 bed right?
-“yes”
Ask if he proposed them to move in
-“nah i decided myself, im tired of living w grandma”
>fairs
-“its just that his gf dumped him before he moved in, but the landlords told him the apt is for couples only bc of cleanniness/discipline concerns”
Starts to sound suspicious but let it slide
-“ok well i hope youre happy and good luck :-)”
Next day
-“look what i made” (sends me a photo of a pot of spaghetti in their lap with someones legs in the frame) “my roommate helped me cook :-)”
>okay either im balls crazy or theres something going on atp
-“why are u sitting on the floor lol”
-“no chairs”
-“what furniture do u have at all?”
-“a table, a fridge, a desk, a bed”
>mytimetoshine
-“a single bed? Whos sleeping on the mattress?”
-“oh we sleep in one bed”
Okay i think im lowkey getting cucked here
-“thats terrible”
-“lol idc”
>give in to my dumbass brain and ask them if it means anything
-“nooo dont worry, hes a cheater, i dont need that lol”
Okay. Lets suppose i believe that. Maybe i am just paranoid and fucked in the head
Keep talking as usual, eventually they ask me if i am asexual, then say that they have a crazy libido and “toys arent enough atp”, hinting they want me to fuck them
-“im not against that if ur not against that ;-)”
Theyre happy and tell me that “this week is gonna be interesting”, naturally i get excited abt it too cuz no sex in a year+theyre attractive
A few days pass, they tell me theyre going to another city for a couple days to a party/rave, send me videos/photos from there, i feel happy for them and feel nice for having someone by my side whos not a shut in. They get back and ask me abt the arrangement, we talk it out and plan the date, feeling accomplished for being able to pull
Next day, they hit me with a “hey can i ask a question” and ask me if i am jealous that they live with another guy. Naturally i lie that im not because i would rather not ruin my chances, then ask them why were they asking. They told me its cuz i was suspicious of them when i asked them whether they and their roommate shared the same bed. I laughed it off and said “well if that doesnt mean anything idc”
Then they hit me with (paraquoting) “so theres a problem because i fucked my roommate the evening before we moved in. And i fucked another guy while i was out of city but all of us were blackout drunk those two times. I understand if u dont wanna talk anymore and i will accept that”
Feel my heart sink into my feet and my head hurt like it was hit with a blunt object. Genuinely start feeling like im abt to throw up and its not even the end of the workday yet
Okay. Still wanna hit that partially as revenge so i gotta be careful here
-“wow. Ok. Let me think. We can make that work”
-“yay!”
Feeling like pure shit
-“btw that guy i fucked out of city was too big for me lol”
Yeah they genuinely want me to rope
Start thinking about how to go about it, if i tell them what i think i will remain touchless for god knows how much more time. If i berate those guys openly theyre gonna know i am insane. Then i remember theyre a bit slow and forgetful since they keep telling/asking me stuff theyve talked abt already
>bingo
Keep my chill, fast forward to the day X; move my gym sesh to the next day and apologize profusely as i feel guilty for being that desperate; meet up with them and take them to dinner first so that im not obviously a sex-hungry asshat
During the walk keep implicitly insulting the moids they fucked, they dont get it at all which makes me feel so absurdly genius its pathetic which makes it more absurd and so it makes me even more enthusiastic
Hold their hand, accept their cheek kisses yadda yadda, come over to theirs. Feel nothing while we fuck except for some satisfaction from my ego being stroked, thinking “wow this sucks i wanna be a volcel”. Ask them how was it
-“it was amazing. Not like my first time cuz i was aroused hehe”
>yeah whatever
They propose to make some dinner for me, during which i keep asking them about the affairs as i got nothing to lose now. They tell me they just “werent sure abt what our relationship was” and that they just really wanted to fuck that friend of theirs just because they liked how PIV felt. Ask them if i can see the exhibits to get an idea why was i not the first choice. Expected buff bearded men, its two alt hairless twinks
>atleastimogthem
>remember their comment about one of the guys being too big and get humbled immediately
I eat dinner, we say goodbye to each other, i leave
Keep communication to minimum, give uninterested replies, act emotionally away; surprisingly they do dig that shit more than when youre affectionate. At this point idc if they get the hint or not but im not wasting any more time or money on that. It still makes me see red when i think about it
Tldr theyfabs are evil by design. Stay away or at worst hit once and go. Unless u wanna hear about how big the moid they cheated on u with was