I feel worn out
so I have a lot of pent up resentment because I am currently the one that makes more income. he is in a study program for right now indefinitely (we agreed to this when engaged )but fast forward 3 years later it’s hard. it’s a big dream of his and they provide a small pay out type of sponsorship for whoever takes part in this. we both agreed he could be there till it’s not possible anymore. but I’m resentful because my job wears me out I feel like I don’t have any time for self care and it’s his job to support me, we have 2 kids and I am just constantly resentful because I feel like instead of him putting the ball in my court and letting me decide when it’s too much, he just says that’s what we agreed on. I dont Know what to do I feel like a bird in a cage, like now I have this unbelievable urge to want to go away go on vacation go on dates often but he almost never takes me out. not often enough for my liking at least. I wanna just burst ! I don’t know how to apply the skills here and my work won’t let me work an hour less a day. idk how to handle this. it was fine in the beginning but than work became stressful and now I have 2 under 2. but if I force him to leave he will be so resentful to me. I just want peace and love and intimacy and that be the most important thing to both of us. im really venting rn but I just need to.
i want to feel taken care of i want to feel like my husband doesn’t want me to work to hard cause im his delicate princess i want to feel valued and i just feel like a bank right now. i really do believe in the mission of this study program and it’s his dream too but how the heck to i manage both our happines.