PE in recovery - sick of the consequences
My husband has been in active recovery since the beginning of last Nov. I don't think he has had any slips. He is seeing a CSAT, goes to SAA meetings, reads PA material on his own, is working through a PA workbook...he is really trying.
Right at the beginning, we did a 90 day abstinence thing to help him break some habits he had. It definitely did help, but ever since then, he has premature ejaculation (PE). Usually he is done in under a minute. He is willing to do lots of foreplay etc but the thing is, I really prefer sex. I don't want to get off before or after doing "other stuff". I don't take a long time to get off either, but I can't manage it in under a minute lol. I find his PE quite triggering because I know it is completely due to the choices he made to be unfaithful. So when he once again finishes right away, I feel so angry because once again, my needs always seem to come second. *I* have to deal with the consequences of HIS infidelity. Again. He is willing to try to continue and wants to please me, but it is just an instant turnoff. I know it isn't really in his control at this point...but his actions that led to his PE *were*.
I don't know how long this is going to continue. How long is our sex life going to be hampered by this. He is trying some different techniques like "starting and stopping" to try to get control, but it often just seems to...happen, anyway. We haven't made much progress so far.
Did anyone else deal with this? How did you get past it?