u/Infinite_Door_9606

In the past few months i’ve had really intense and terrifying experiences on makilla gorilla mushrooms that i grew. The first few times i tried mushrooms from this batch i had great, smooth and in a good way emotional experiences. After a 5 gram trip i can’t have a normal experience even though i would take a dose that was usually good for me.

Last year i took 5 grams of random mushrooms that i bought and it was probably my best experience on mushrooms so far. This year, at the end of may i decided to take 5 grams and do the same things on the good 5g trip. I consumed the mushrooms and the vibe was immediately off, i tried to go outside but it was a windy night so i decided to stay inside which was a bad idea

When the mushrooms kicked in i started to hear voices, banging, and just random noise. As i was thinking about the noise i started to have a really bad feeling about my surroundings as in the area where i live ( the balkans ). I had dark thoughts about the people, feeling like they’re evil and that everyone was after me. I tried to not listen and not think about that but i had to go to the toilet. I sat on the toilet basically just thinking about stuff and that’s when i started to peak

As i started to peak i basically lost my vision. My eyes were just seeing a colder color gradient that was moving around with thin white patterns. It was like that for some time, until i started to think how nothing that i went through is real and that all of the people i met are my imagination. I started to hear the people i know, mostly my friends, colleagues etc. It was really weird because i went through some kind of a break through and thought that we all died and are now living in my head. I was extremely confused and kinda called out for my parents. I vividly remember them saying to me “We always tried to let you know and we are happy that you finally realized that you are the God”

After that it all kinda went quiet and i was just in my head, i couldn’t feel anything and only felt like i was aware in my brain, nowhere else, after being paralyzed for a bit i got up, the room was moving everything was so weird and i still genuinely thought that i died and that this is all fake. I couldn’t do it and just laid in my bed waiting for the trip to stop. I felt everything that i ever felt and saw whatever would come to my mind. At some point i genuinely felt like something was fucking me up the ass and i am not even exaggerating. It was so weird and scary. I dont remember much more but eventually i fell asleep.

After like 20 days i decided to trip again (2.3g) but this time in a much better set and setting with nothing to do and nothing to bother me. I was in nature and it was really beautiful. The mushrooms were slowly kicking in and after more than 1 and half hour i thought for some reason that the mushrooms wouldn’t kick in that much but i had no problem with that, i continued my walk and went into a thought loop about the previous trip.

I kept asking myself “what the fuck was that trip” and kinda just sat repeatedly saying that to myself. I got a bad vibe again and went back towards my house. As i was walking i kept hearing people and they all sounded so loud even tho they were probably hundreds of meters away from me. I got into my room, as i laid in my bed i started to hear my parents saying “he found out” as in i again found out that i am “god” and that nothing is actually real. But in reality nobody was saying that, or calling my name which i also heard repeatedly. When i laid in my bed i had the same feeling like i did on 5g trip exact same thoughts, feeling, visuals, it was spot on. But how do i have the same physical and psychological feeling when i took only 2.3g.

Another trip was exactly 2g and its basically still the same. Im taking a long break from mushrooms because i clearly did too much. Forgot to mention this but i also had a strong feeling that something bad is going to happen like the end of the world or just humanity. I had visions of explosions, bombs, guns and loud bangs and some loud screeching were a part of all the trips. Did somebody have similar experiences on this strain or generally mushrooms?