Moved MIL from Assisted Living to Memory Care
My MIL (70) was diagnosed with Parkinson's about 5 years ago. Her physical symptoms (tremors, stiffness) were quickly resolved by Levodopa. However, the cognitive symptoms continued to decline, and quickly. My FIL passed in December of 2024 and it quickly became clear that my MIL would need to be in Assisted Living. She has been there for the last year and a half but over the summer took another big step down cognitively. Her primary diagnosis was updated to Lewy Body Dementia. Her decline has meant that she would not be able to stay in Assisted Living much longer.
The facility she has been in did have a Memory Care unit, but we did a trial run and it seemed to really upset my MIL. At times she was aware that she was in the same facility but in a locked unit. My husband and I were not impressed with what they offered. My MIL, despite her dementia, is still quite able bodied and pretty social, which was not in line with the peers she would have been surrounded by. So, we sought a new facility nearby that specializes in Memory Care of all stages. The move was just 2 days ago and her initial reaction was not great. ("I can't live here." "It's too small.") She looks around and sees "old people" and doesn't think she's meant to be there.
Right now I feel paralyzed. I want to call or visit her to let her know we're still by her side, but I'm afraid of the state I will find her in during this adjustment. That she will be upset or ask to leave.
I really don't even know why I'm posting except that while I know this is the right thing, I'm basically feeling sad, tired and guilty. I wish I could do more for her but my husband and I both work full time and have two small children. Anyone else been here before?