So, I have a boyfriend and this was all around 3–4 years ago, at the very beginning of us. He had a really close girl best friend. They were part of the same long-term friend group from school. In the first few days of our relationship, he spent a lot of time with her. He once went to her house, hanging out with her family, sitting there for a few hours. At one point, for reasons I don’t fully remember, he even ended up staying over and sleeping in a separate room with her brother. From what I understood, her family was quite strict and they generally saw him in a very “family friend / like a son” kind of way, so there was never anything hidden or inappropriate about it.
At that time I did feel a bit uneasy about how close they were, but I also didn’t want to be controlling or the type of girlfriend who stops someone from having friendships, so I never actually asked him to cut her off. If anything, I kind of tried to downplay my own jealousy because I didn’t want to make it a problem.
Over time, he naturally started setting more boundaries himself and distancing a bit.
One situation that did stand out to me back then was when he was at her dorm for 2h and didn’t tell me where he was, but didn't later on either. I found out through location we shared and asked him about it later. He explained it and said that I said I'm not interested about hearing things about her so he thought it didn't matter since he knew I could see it on location or ask him. After that, there was a bit of tension, and he actually said he didn’t want us to keep ending up in situations where I feel anxious or overthink, and that he would try to avoid her.
A few months later, they were already distant, there was another moment where she sent a snap with a pic of him doing something on her laptop at dorm. I asked him, he told me he didn't "hangout" there since that last situation but that he was with her, she saw him at the cafeteria and asked him for help with some program for class at her dorm, and he said no bc they can do that in a cafe, she got her laptop and they went. But when he saw her snap and how it looked he said he doesn't want it to look like this and told me he don't know why did she took a pic there since they where there for like 5min, he connected laptop to wifi, downloaded a program and they went to a cafe to finish it.
Now, years later, they barely have any contact at all, except in larger groups, one time we hung out in his friends cafe spontaneously and decided to go out in the club, on one side of the table were guys and on the other were my girl friends and me(he isn't the type who likes cuddling or really kissing in public or when we are with friends since he founds it stupid to be intimate in front of everyone), she came and was with us girls, my bf and I only looked at each other and smiled for the most of the night and only hugged and kisses when we were outside to catch some fresh air, once we got back he stood next to me this time and she told him something and I got upset(idk why she just smiled and patted his back and I was drinking so it must be it). I said how he didn't touch me most of the night only because she was there and my friends tought that was so stupid and so did he.
The reason this is coming back up for me is that I recently heard from someone from that old group that people back then actually assumed they might secretly be together just because of how close they seemed, before me. That comment made me start remembering all those small moments again, even tho logically I know it’s all in the past.
Still, I can’t fully shake that feeling and I’m wondering if I’m being irrational for being affected by something that happened so long ago and is clearly over, AITH for not liking a girl or was there something to not like?