Should I be concerned
So recently, after rethinking about life a bit, I'm starting to thjnk that I have some type of NPD, I haven't researched about the disorder in details yet, so I don't know which NPD disorder specifically
My parents and extended family has always talked about how I seem to have little empathy for others, not 'like not feeling sorry for people who got hurt' type of no empathy, but the type that doesn't care about how someone might be hurt because of my emotional outlash
I don't think I help out with the chores much unless my parents asked me to, I neveer really considered helping them despite knowing that doing chores are exhausting
I do think I'm morally superior compared to my classmates, which to be fair, they're a bunch of racists and homophobes
A more recent incident, a friend that is mentally unstable, threw a chair at a classmate because he was too loud, she was given 6 demerits(demerits are a big deal in my country), so obviously she was sad about it, and she was telling me to stop her from doing that the next time she crashes out, but the thing is, I can't bring myself to pity her even a bit, I kept thinking that she deserves that, I can't bring myself to comfort her at all
Also when I'm talking with my few friends, when they switched the topic of a conversation when I was talking about it, I was livid, idk if I'm sad that they don't want to talk about that topic or I just want to talk in a topic I'm interested in
Three things to mention is that, 1, I lack any desire to manipulate other, 2, don't think I deserve to be amiared, 3,I have no problem empathizing with people who are terminally ill/ were hurt visibly bad, but when it's people I'm close to, I can't feel bad at all
I know perfectionism is impossible, but I can't help but want to be perfect, I constantly get jealous at my friend who is way more talented than me, e.g. she is really good at art, I stuck at it, I hate looking at her drawings, she's good at playing the pipa, I'm regretting that I gave up on the piano, and hated the fact that I stuck at playing the guitar, when I was finally semi-confident in myself for being decent at playing a rhythm game, my friend broke a record that I was unable to break beforehand, I don't want her to touch my account again
I unsure if these points alone is enough to determine if I have NPD, but I would like to see how likely I might have it, since my social life is admittedly horrible, anf it is affecting my other relationships
Also, is there any other ways to treat NPD besides therapy, I can't go to therapy for certain reasons
Sorry that it is long and weirdly organized